Passion::Love::Interest

Sighs~

2009-03-22T23:06:00.003+08:00

"The clock is ticking..." I suddenly feel the emptiness in me over the last few years.

Indeed it has been some years since I was in a relationship. Perhaps I have become so used to being single that I already forgot how to fall in love again. Or maybe I am just not that "lovable" to the guys.

I hang out with guy friends on one-to-one basis (Would that constitute a "date"?). Let's say we classify them as dates. How come no date turn out fruitful? Don't tell me I scare them off? Or I am too good a buddy to be a gf? I really wonder what are the guys' opinion of me.

As the phrase goes "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", I would love to know what is the impression I gave to the guys.

P.S. I'm still a woman who yearns to be loved, and to have the capability to love someone.

All "Right"

2009-02-24T22:59:00.002+08:00

Which of the following situation do you think is the worst to be in?

1. 在对的时间遇到对的人 Meet the right person at the right time
2. 在对的时间遇到错的人Meet the wrong person at the right time
3. 在错的时间遇到对的人Meet the right person at the wrong time
4. 在错的时间遇到错的人Meet the wrong person at the wrong time

My answer: Case 3 is the worst. I think it's the saddest case, because the right person may leave by the time it's the right time.

My next best answer: Case 2. Because you can still choose to reject the person. It's not as bad as Case 3.

These were part of a discussion I had with a friend @ Tanjong Rhu. A deep understanding of love from the friend who made nice Latte with Baileys and Whiskey for me at his place.

P.S. I hope this is not a divulgence of any secret of my friend.

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-02-20T22:48:00.002+08:00

The movie was not bad with interesting flashbacks. Nice scenes of India (though I think it's still last on my priority list at the moment). A good attempt at an "India film" by an American director (he's American?! never really care about getting my facts right). The last part of dancing is quite cute..."at least it's not in the middle". If not, it would have been too deliberate. I love the last part where Salim dies in a pool of money (I know it's sad that he has to die to let Latika go), while his brother Jamal wins Rs. 20 mil in the gameshow - "Who wants to be a millonaire?".

Los Amantes del Circulo Polar

2009-02-19T21:01:00.002+08:00

I'm really glad that I went for the movie at Arts House. Despite going alone and without a ticket, I managed to get last minute ticket to watch the movie in the end.

The movie is about Ana and Otto (both names are palindromes). They met at the gate outside the school when they were eight. They began a complicated, but secret and passionate relationship. Is all about cycles and the coincidences in life. Es un ciclo y son casualidades en la vida. They broke up somehow, and found themselves both in Finland, where the Polar Circle is. Yet, just as nothing last in the world (mentioned in the beginning of the movie), love between Ana and Otto didn't last forever. Ana was killed in a fatal accident in the end. A very sad ending.

P.S. Nothing is forever. Treasure what you have now.

Monday Blues

2009-02-15T17:41:00.002+08:00

I am certainly not looking forward to tomorrow. Although my boss won't be back on Monday, I hate to go back and see that flowers on my desk. I really need to find a way to throw them away. The sender of the flowers doesn't seem to understand the meaning of "bucked off". I believe I have indicated my stand very clearly but he doesn't seem to be giving up too easily. Haiz~ It's getting a little too much for me... I don't think I really like to go back to work on Monday... it's super blue even before it's here.

Tickets To Spanish Film Festival...

2009-02-15T17:37:00.003+08:00

I really would rather spend my time at the arts house watching the Spanish Film Festival than staying whole all day doing nothing. I can only blame myself for booking the tickets too late. Now the only choice is to go on the day itself to check out any extra tickets are available. I hate waiting without knowing the end results...

Thoughts

2009-02-12T23:22:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking a lot these days. I don't know how to describe that feeling. Nor do I know who can I share with. I could only blog them now. Luckily, I found one distraction that keeps me thinking. That only reason that motivates me every day is: "Boys Before Flower" (Korean version of "Meteor Garden").

I was looking forward to my first step of moving on. However, when I fail that first barrier, I wasn't extremely upset. I knew if a score of 10, I would have only obtain 3. I failed badly.

Instead, I think at least I took the first step that kept me thinking why I am still in this s***. I have been lucky all these while meeting the "right" people who gave me many opportunities. It took me 5 years to realise I should give it a try in another arena. Then I realised I might not be suitable. I am like a fish who should swim back to the water, where I am more comfortable in. Even though I may not have the ability to return to where I was but I know deep down in my heart I really want to go back to where my passion lies.

Is it too late?

I have absolutely no idea. I won't know the future, I can't care about the past. I only have the present with me.

I remember there was a friend, the one who I was fated to meet twice and who seems to know me better. She said: "You are certainly those who like to keep most things to yourself." That's true. I don't know how to share those innermost feelings with others. Then again I realised maybe I was never as good as interacting with others as it seems.

I also want to find someone who can share my joy and sadness.

However, it's always the wrong guy who approached. The right guy rather leave me alone.

P.S. Life....filled with all sort of thoughts that don't make sense to correlate yet when you want to vent those frustrations you just simply throw out whatever you have in mind...

Boys Before Flower

2009-02-12T23:09:00.002+08:00

"Boys Before Flower" is the Korean version of "Meteor Garden". I'm so addicted to this korean drama these days. In fact, I prefer this version as compared to the Taiwanese one. As I watched the show, I realised how Vday is drawing near...

I loved the some of these scenes:

1. GJP brought Jan Di to a beautiful, white sandy beach. There was nobody there except for a table filled with fruits and drinks.

2. GJP has designed and get a necklace handmade. The shape of the necklace is a moon inside a star. GJP is the star; Jan Di is the moon. GJP will always hold on to the moon, and never leave the moon.

I am not a greedy person, but I would be satisfied with the following:

1. Both of us drinking champagne at a white sandy beach along the waters. How nice would it be? The waters, the sand, the company, etc.

2. I would glad to receive a meaningful necklace. I don't exactly expect it to be handmade or designed. It may not necessary be the one and only, but it's the thought that matters.

There are more scenes in the show that I simply love. I can't wait for episode 13 to be out now....

Wonder what life will be after the show ends for me...

Courage To Face The Reality...

2009-02-02T23:10:00.005+08:00

I finally took up the courage and went for my blood test. I knew from the face of the doctor that he really likes to prove me wrong in the beginning, and then he realised he really wanted to believe me in the next second. Even though he tried to convince me that it is not the worst yet till the test comes, I knew from his face that he really want to give me that boost of hope.

I bravely went online to search for the word I fear most now. The symptoms said it all. I knew I had to face the music no matter how much it isn't true. It may be true as the doctor said it depends on the results and he'll then know the treatment. Well, I knew it too well. It's only a matter of how much I would be getting in this case.

Fear not. I need to have the courage to face the reality, face the road in front of me...

Reaching quarter of a century...

2009-02-01T10:51:00.002+08:00

It's been a while since I last blog. I doubt any friends of mine are reading this blog these days due to the inactivity.

2009: Expect to be a year of hard work.

Career:

Yet I've hope to leave the company soon. That's one of my resolution. I will soon be one step closer to fulfiling my resolution. Wish me good luck. Of course, there will rounds more to go if I clear the first barrier. Even if I go through all rounds, I will have to decide for myself if this is what I want.

Relationship:

No way for 'office relationship'. However, my prince charming has not even appear at workplace. I still believe in having guys taking on a more proactive approach but I really hate to lose a friend when a guy (whom I see as impossible candidate) declares his love (or rather liking) towards me.

P.S. The guy whom I like never put in effort to approach, while the wrong guy always take the approach.

Finance:

Time to work hard to earn more money. Yet I do not wish to lose the real meaning of life by working too much for $$$.

Social:

As usual, I hope to be traveling once in a while to get out of this terrible lifestyle of simply working. Next location on the map: Manila. I am planning to visit a Peruvian friend of mine, who is currently working there. At the moment, everyone around me is telling me how dangerous it is to go there. I guess the trip will be my next solo trip again. Adventure begins sometime after April...

In Remembrance Of A Friend

2008-12-20T16:18:00.002+08:00

We met at IMF. He gave me the impression of a very nice boy. When I talked to him, I realised he is very mature. Perhaps that makes him a little different from his peers of his same age. Then he was only 19. I still remembered we were discussing about university, and he mentioned that he wanted to get into an university after graduating from poly.

After two years, he indeed was offered a place in SMU to study business management (exactly the same course as me). Probably he has taken into considerations of what I've told him.

He nearly could be my junior if god didn't take him away...

On that very day, he bought his new motorcycle. That was two weeks after he obtained his bike license. It was also the day he met a fatal accident, and left this world. He could have such a bright future. He really has achieved his dreams to get into university and he did it. However, god decided to take him away at the same time.

It may be a brief encounter between him and me but I will remember this friend I made forever.

My friend, you will be remembered. I will remembered how motivated you were. I really want to perserve like you would if you will still here. 一路好走，朋友!!!

男孩女孩

2008-11-10T23:40:00.000+08:00

I came across this as I browsed through my blog entries:

每个男孩都曾是地狱的恶魔，当遇到自己喜欢的女孩时，便会动心，于是变为凡人。所以女孩一定不要辜负男孩，不然男孩又要回到地狱。

每个女孩都曾是无泪的天使，当遇到自己喜欢的男孩时，便会流泪，于是变成凡人。所以男孩一定不要辜负女孩，因为女孩为你放弃了整个天堂!

It's Really Luck!!!

2008-11-10T22:24:00.004+08:00

I wish I had voiced out my preferences when I was given a chance then. I gave it up and now I am in such deep s***.

That day I left my handphone on the desk, and left office to go for my Japanese class. On my way, I then realised I forgot my handphone. I called back using the phone of my colleague. My boss picked up. I told her that I think I left my phone in office. Guess what she said?!?! She questioned me in an impatient tone, "So what do you want me to do?"

I am sure if the same thing happen to you, you won't expect me to say that in your face. I don't see what's the big deal for you to get so frustrated.

The next day you can even treat it as nothing has happened. You didn't even bother telling me that my other colleague has safekept for me.

That same day that I got back to office. I was even more angry that you can make everything seems my fault AGAIN. Not once, not twice, but it's the million times you did that again.

You did a deal in the morning without telling me. You expect me to decipher that "please help me print another copy and i'm going to bring it to the customer" as "i'm going to get the documents today, as we've done the deal today". I am not as SMART as you to know that the two sentences are synonymous. And you could have obtained the papers earlier so that you can do the deal anytime.

Now you make it that nobody likes to talk to you. I have to be the bad guy and I've to stand your scolding because I've no idea what you've done. The more I don't understand why you need to make 3 calls and still come back office to scold me AGAIN. You only know how to put the blame on others. No wonder nobody likes to talk to you.

I have to act happy during the evening while we having our team dinner. You would never have know how upset you've made me. But because of you, I got the motivation to finish editing my resume over the weekend. No matter how bad the market is, I know I won't be able to tolerate you for any longer.

I can never be as "ATAS" as you. I can't buy LV and still complain that Kate Spade can't never compare to the LV bags. I can't drink Starbucks everyday like you do. At least I know my money is well-spent on trips, that I can enhance my knowledge in the long run. How would buying an LV or Kate Spade makes you any smarter?!?!

P.S. Sorry to those who are LV or Kate Spade fans but I really don't see how it makes you look smarter.

Truth of Life

2008-11-03T20:16:00.001+08:00

Golden advice from a buddy:

"Life is like a stage play, stage play is like life, just that sometimes in life, there isn't 'Take 2'."

Harsh Environment

2008-10-21T22:20:00.002+08:00

Perhaps my last blog entries may sound scary - 'friend is foe & foe is friend".

Once you acknowledged a group of people into your "circle", you are considered "ONE OF THEM". Be it good or bad. You seem to be labeled just because of the group you are in. Is that BRANDING? Does an opinion of a person be seen as the opinion of another?

Someone once told me that isn't it good to find your own "clique". Perhaps one or two people, or a group of them who share common beliefs and thinking.

Well, I guess it depends on how you think it. To some, they see it as a good thing; to others, they might look it in a bad way. To many people, they simply love to classify things, and people. They like to generalise everything they see, touch, smell, taste and hear. GENERALISATION.

Trouble Times

2008-10-10T23:17:00.002+08:00

The market has been so volatile these days. Everything is the same kind of news regarding the market. The fall of Lehman Brothers. The merger & acquisitions going around in the U.S. The bailouts coming from the Central Banks in Europe & U.S. It's a domino effect. When would this be the end?

No matter how much actions going around me, work is still pretty much the same for me. Sometimes I feel that I am getting so used to all the nonsense at work. At times I am really pissed off by the comments and actions of people.

Perhaps I am not an easy-going person to get along afterall. I don't like the feeling of not knowing who are your foe and friend a work. Life is indeed better when you're a student. No politics. You don't have to learn how to grow up at the harsher environment. Now things haven't changed much, but inside me I think I've adapted to accept that the world around me now is like this. A place where your enemy is your closest friend. Make your friends close, but make your enemies closer. That's just the way life is.

Almost 2 months...

2008-09-11T23:40:00.003+08:00

It's almost 2 months since I last updated this blog. I guess those friends of mine who used to frequent this blog would have forgotten that this blog still exists.

Many things have happened over the 2 months. My eventful trip to NYC & Toronto. A job interview that offered an opportunity that I had hope for 5 years ago. Perhaps if it's not yours, it's not yours. I must learn to face reality. I must appreciate what my capabilities are and are not.

I certainly wish to get out from where I am now in less than a year's time. I really can't stand Ms. J. She's pissing me off at times. She never listens. And because she doesn't listen, she claims that you didn't tell her beforrehand. She put blames on you intentionally, making you feel bad. Perhaps I don't have her "common sense" but I think she ought to give people some respect. Not only does she not praise you when you do well, she makes sure you remember her scolding. I really don't think I can tolerate her for too long. That's the main reason why I am planning to leave.

Of course, the other reason is I don't know if where I am now is where I belong. i don't feel a sense of belongings here. Perhaps I don't think I have the capabilities required in this role.

Well, time for a chance soon!!! Counting down to Dec first if I survive all these crap!!!

Trip To NYC & Toronto

2008-07-21T21:54:00.002+08:00

I really can't wait to head to NYC and Toronto!!!

It's been such crazy weeks. I am rushing to finish up reports to the "internal customers" so as to provide the facilities for my "external customers". I have no idea how I am supposed to finish in time.

Now I really wish August would come soon. I need a break to rest my minds and enjoy myself. My last overseas trip was in late Jan (if you discount the frequent trips to JB in Jun). I think it's time for me to recharge my whole body...

The Unknown Ahead

2008-07-01T21:33:00.002+08:00

I have been so shagged these days after work that I rarely come online. I normally go straight to bed after only some TV shows. I also never head out after work these days. Honestly, I have no idea why I am so tired.

Recently, I also been thinking whether I've chosen the right career path. Studying part-time is ok. However, I am certainly not those very academic kind to do research at university. Nor am I super ambitious. I am not a born leader. Yet, at times we have to choose what's best for us and what we are good at. I am once again at a crossroads if I am suitable for my current role. Or should I go into a position that allows me the chance to travel or some jobs that do not require to reach sales quota?

There was an opportunity of job transfer to the research department. I couldn't leave my job as of now. I am not sure if I have made the right decision. I probably won't know till few years from now...

24nd Birthday

2008-06-27T20:46:00.003+08:00

Thank you all for the cake, flowers, and gifts! Thank you for meeting me to celebrate my birthday too! I am really thankful that you for remembering my birthday and making my 24nd birthday realise that I am very fortunate to have friends around me. There are a few friends whose sincerity touches my heart. I wish I could remember their birthday as clearly as they could remember me. However, I am really forgetful when it comes to numbers. Sorry! And sorry for the late thank you!

Birthday

2008-06-09T22:00:00.002+08:00

A colleague reminded me of my birthday. I don't know that colleague that well, but one of the GTs told her. She's also born in Jun.

Honestly, I am not at all excited about my birthday. No plans for now. No plans for Friday night out.

The GTs are having a gathering on Friday. But I am not keen on joining. Blame it on my anti-socialness. I just want to have a night without memories of work. The only thing I can talk about with my colleagues is now only WORK, and MORE WORK. I can't find myself relating to many of them. I guess I was never the extrovert afterall.

I simply love being around friends. GEMINI. The horoscope that explains all.

Unfortunately, my good girlfriend is working London hours. That means I can't get her to join me. I don't mind going back home to watch my Jap drama. That is if the latest episodes have been uploaded.

P.S. I signed up for classes at Las Lilas, the Spanish school. Time to move away from Japanese!!!

Birthday Card

2008-05-30T23:10:00.002+08:00

I received my first birthday card today. I didn't expect it to come with the $30 Takashimaya voucher. I would have thought there was only the voucher. My department head was the one distributing the card. A pleasant surprise on Friday. However, at the same time, I felt so old.

Approaching the mid-20s, I wouldn't say that I have achieved a lot in life. I have yet to travel around half the world. Nor have I become half a millionaire. However, I am proud of myself that I had the chance to travel widely to countries like Argentina, Chile and South Africa. This kind of lifestyle is what many peers of my age would not have imagined. Attaining the status of being financially independent even before the age of 20 is considered another achievement for me.

Of course, I have a lot of plans in mind for the next 20 plus year...in terms of work and social.

P.S. Unfortunately, I would still be slogging myself on my birthday, as a new lady is joining my team on Monday and my boss will be on leave on the day of my birthday.

Wednesday Night

2008-05-29T21:28:00.003+08:00

I met up Ms. S, who is working a few blocks away from mine after work at Secret Recipe. We had a big plan to be carried out on that evening. In order to make the plan a perfect one, first we need a cake (a good enough size to show our sincerity). Then we walked all the way to ORQ. Next, we need to seek an accomplice. He/she has to know our target and be able to lure her to the destinated area for the plan. Luckily, that accomplice happened to sms me on that day about my "hot date" for that evening (I shall go into the content of the sms later). Perfect! Not only can he act as my accomplice to lure my target out for the day, but he could also inform me the best place to carry out the plan. Well, that's how Ms. S and I ended up on the 22nd floor, waiting for our target. And "Tada!". We appeared in front of our target - Ms. J and brought her a cake. It's a pity she has to work on that day. However, I hope she likes the little surprise we had for her. I am sure she must be a little shocked that I appeared at her office after work to deliver a cake, since I was still chatting with her over sms that I had a dinner apppointment.

After "mission accomplished", I had to head to Forum to meet a "friend" working for a particular embassy in Singapore. I would classify him as a "friend" because we only met 4 times (excluding one time that I saw him from far but couldn't recall his name in time). I met this "friend' 3 years ago at his workplace (the embassy) for an interview. Back then, he has only just arrived in Singapore from the UK. It was only few months back, I bumped into him again at a gathering. That was when I realised he knows my colleagues (who are my mentors during my internship). He came for another gathering I organised recently, and we ended up chatting about FTAs (that's Free Trade Agreements if you have no idea what's the abbreviation about). He mentioned he will update me again on the status this week, so we met up at a coffee outlet yesterday. We ended up chatting about dual citizenship and religions. He certainly studies a lot into cultures. Very enriching indeed.

An interesting Wednesday night I had.

P.S. I was supposed to reveal a little about the content of the sms. Apparently, my "accomplice" thought I was going on a "hot date" with a guy from the embassy. He smsed me regarding the "hot date". Of course, I must say I probably disappoint him. As I mentioned to my "accomplice", I was only meeting that "friend" to discuss world issues (technically, FTAs, dual citizenship and religions). The sms my friend sent me next was even more funny - "u can turn world issues to family issues". Honestly, this is really hilarious. At least something I can laugh at when I looked at that sms.

Crazy Weekend

2008-05-26T21:46:00.006+08:00

I organised a Spanishinsg gathering at Singapore Flyer on Saturday. Eight people turned up for the event. That's considered not bad for a gathering. I spent a fulfiling 30 minutes with the group. We then headed to Killiney for drinks. Eventually, we decided to split up as some girls want to shop and relax, while the guys were considering a movie together. I joined the guys to check out the timing for the movies. In the end, we ended up drinking at Ice Cold Beer @ SMU. I drank two bottles of Corona, and felt a bit tipsy. I guess it was because I didn't really have my lunch and have drunk with an empty stomach. After the drinks, we went to Raffles City for dinner before joining the girls at Boat Quay for the water show (an arts fest opening ceremony's performance). However, the place was so crowded with people, O and I went to Double O for a drink as there is free admission as part of its anniversary celebrations. I had my third drink of the day. Eventually, O and I decided to join the girls again at an expat's party @ Kallang. I took the last train back home on Sunday.

I spent the rest of Sunday resting at home. I only head out for a haircut at Bukit Timah in the morning. It was a peaceful Sunday, except for the disturbed calls and sms from a "friend". I shall not reveal the content. But I would say I wasn't too sure if he was going to be a "friend" to me anymore. I knew at that point in time I could no longer make him one. I didn't even bother replying. What makes me even more angry with him was the fact that he woke me up in the middle of the night. I was so tired today due to the insufficient of quality sleep till I forgot to update my report for tomorrow's early morning meeting. I would probably have to head to office at 7am tomorrow to finish it before showing my bosses.

Spanish Interests

2008-05-23T21:45:00.003+08:00

Another episode of the infotainment program hosted by Belinda features a guy who was offered a job in Switzerland to work for Schwab Foundation. The foundation focused on matching social entrepreneurs to resources all over the world. The job is not only interesting, but also a noble mission to assist the less fortunates. The amazing thing is that the guy's wife also gave up her job to follow her husband to Switzerland for two years. Now the guy is starting another company called Volans Ventures together with some former colleagues from the Schwab Foundation. His new role will even be more challenging with a lot of traveling involved in Asia.

The program is really motivating. I really wish I could be offered a job that is as interesting and fulfiling as the guy. It would be amazing to help out the less fortunates in South America. Not only could I practise my Spanish, I could also gain a chance to really make use of what I learnt during the South America Business Forum I attended two years ago.

My current job is challenging, and I must admit I am pretty reluctant to change anything to the current status. Perhaps you called that complacent. However, I've been thinking whether what I am doing now is what I am good at. At the same time, I believe there's no place for me in media if I even decide to go back. Not in terms of technical knowledge. Rather I meant doing media is what I like but not necessary what I am good at.

Should I continue to get complacent? Or should I seek to pursue my interests? It's such a dilemma.

Sakura International Buffet

2008-05-13T20:27:00.002+08:00

I went Sakura at Orchard for international buffet with my mum and a group of aunties. It might seem like a surprise why would I go with a group of aunties. In fact, I know some of them. Most of them are my neighbours. One of the aunties has even watched me grow up. Amazing, isn't it?

The food was not bad. There was quite a variety of food, including scallops, sashimi, sushi, prawns, oyster, shark's fin soup, cream of mushroom, dim sum, tempura, ice-cream and sorbets, satay, grilled meat etc. My favourite is of course the sashimi - the fresh salmon, maguro and prawn. In addition, there was a selection of drinks like mocha, milo, ice tea, lemonade, coffee and tea, etc.

Perhaps it was a Saturday (also the eve of Mother's Day). There were a huge crowd of people. The place seems especially popular with young people. I would suggest this venue for gathering next time. It would be nice to have buffet with a group of friends. I am sure appetite improves when you have friends around.

Mounting Pressure

2008-05-10T22:28:00.002+08:00

I'm slowly adapting to the role of a marketing officer. My manager also gradually letting me meet my portfolio of customers and handle requests of those customers. I am also starting to feel the pressure mounting at work. More expectations come not only from my customer, but also from my manager.

Although I am certainly underpaid as compared to industry rate, I think my job is challenging by nature. The work itself involves a steep learning curve. I am practically learning on the job most of the time. Every customers has unique issues to handle, and only when they have requests, I will learn what are the procedures involved. As usual, double standards occured everywhere. I have to always check again and again. I must have pissed off many colleagues by asking too many questions everyday. Haha~ I guess it's all part of learning experiences.

I have my annual leave in August approved. However, I have yet purchased my air tickets. Nor have I booked my accomodation. Tentatively, I should be visiting New York and Toronto. Time to save money for my trip!!!

Politics

2008-04-23T20:05:00.003+08:00

I hate people who stirred up trouble at workplace for nothing. These people create unnecessary rumours about others. The worst is they try to instill their own perspectives into others' mindset.

There's this new girl at my workplace. I can feel her hostility towards me. I am not being sensitive this time. You can feel the thorns behind every words she said to you. I have no idea why she doesn't like me, but speaking behind my back is horrendous.

I was supposed to hand over my previous role as an admin support to the marketing officers. Apparently, she didn't understand those things I taught her. In the end, she started making claims to everyone she works with in my division that give them the impression I didn't do a good job.

Imagine a new girl in the department already making such assumptions and making unfounded claims!

I guess she was too used to more politically entrenched work environment (She was from my neighbour upstairs that is known to be quite a political hot zone). That's the only reason I can only think why she couldn't stop herself from being political at workplace.

I just need to watch my steps at work...

Time Flies...

2008-04-15T22:03:00.003+08:00

Time really flies when you're fully packed with work. It's been almost half a month since I took over the customer portfolio. I am still trying to get used to the life as a marketing officer. At the same time, I must bear with all the "coaxing" I get on a daily basis. These "coaxing" can be the nagging of my customers, or of my boss. I am certainly taking everything at stride at the moment. All these are part and parcel as I continue to move along the learning curve.

My boss is very strict. I always try my best to reach her expectations. Although she always seem very serious and solemn, she is a very nice and experienced manager. She's a local but she can speak and understand fluent Japanese. I am really impressed by her efficiency too. I really think I learn a lot from her when I went on customer visits with her. In order to reach her level, I must really put in a lot of hard work.

I am not exactly sure if I can achieve my 2009 dream now. But I wish I could go on my leave in Aug.

P.S. I am planning to go on a slightly long trip to visit my friends on the other side of the world. It's definitely not Latin America this time.

Brand New Beginning

2008-04-05T20:22:00.003+08:00

The whole of this week has been hectic. I am transfered to the team officially as a marketing officer. I am supposed to take over a portfolio of customers from a colleague in my team, whose last day was on Friday. That means there is only one week for that colleague to handover. I started visiting some of the customers. As I am still pretty new to the role, I have been staying late to get myself familiarise with those customers. At the same time, I still have a lot to learn as a marketing officer. Though those things I've learnt over the last few months during the graduate trainee and the two months as an administrative officer are still pretty useful.

P.S. It seems like a brand new beginning for me...

A Brand New Beginning...

2008-03-29T10:43:00.005+08:00

It's been a long time since I blogged...

I've been packed with work these days. I probably worked beyond the norm 6.30pm in office. That's because there's a new lady, a friend of a colleague. She is taking over my current position after making a job switch from JP (our investment neighbour). Although I am not the mentor of this new colleague (her friend is), I am supposed to hand over the work to her. I have no idea how much she get absorb within a week. Ultimately, she will be given the responsibility of the whole team (which is likely my current team). However, my marketing officers also want me to teach her the adhoc stuff occasionally. Honestly, I don't feel comfortable with that because she needs to learn how to crawl before she can walk. Many things I also have to learn on the job. I think given the time constraints, she just need to learn the most important role first.

Luckily, I will be posted to another team to learn the rope for marketing officer as there will be a reshuffling of the whole division and some turnover of staff within the division. My team will comprise of a local but fluent Japanese speaking manager, and an efficient native Japanese officer with the potential to be groom to be the next manager. In addition, I will joined the team as an officer. At the same time, they will be recruiting another new officer to replace a local officer, who is leaving at the end of the month.

P.S. With new power comes new responsibility.

Finalmente

2008-03-13T22:06:00.005+08:00

I've PASSED my M5 exam finally!

Yesterday I checked out Food Fest at Suntec Convention Hall after my exam. There aren't many stalls around, but I was surprised that Mr. Bean was giving out free soya ice-cream. I also noticed QQ rice setting up a stall for the first time in Food Fest. I should be going to the exhibition for food and beverages with my mum and her friend. Normally I will end up carrying stuff home for my mum. Of course, I get to eat and drink. Luckily, I can start eating solid food now (I've put on braces on the upper teeth last Friday.)

I've been kept busy lately, assisting my team with the administrative support. However, starting 1st April, I should be transferred to the respective teams to learn the rope as a marketing officer, which is supposingly my final position. Perhaps certain things will be quite similar to what I'm doing now. Though I have no idea whose team I will be assigned to. I have a feeling that my current department needs more people than my assigned department. I can only accept whatever that is offered to me. I will then have to try to acquire as much knowledge as possible. That's how I can accumulate whatever transferrable skills to my future endeavours.

Going Left

2008-03-05T20:57:00.002+08:00

I am totally shagged these days. This week is probably the hardest I've worked in my department. I have tons of work to finish everyday, including learning many things on the job. However, as a workaholic by nature, I enjoy having work to do than acting busy (attaining the highest level of looking busy when I am not). At the same time, I am really using up so much energy. I've been feeling super tired by the time I reached home.

I have to clear some s*** for my team. Apparently, the other department, which is in-charge of checking through the documents submitted bymy team, are returning these papers to me to re-do. This should not have happened if not for the double standards that have existed in my department. Re-doing them means I need to check through that all documents are submitted, and then ensuring that I've attached the necessary additions. In addition, I will have to re-circulate the additional items to get the 'hanko' before submitting to the department doing the checks. That is simply a waste of time. If the team has done it in the correct way in the first place, they would have save all the trouble.

Beside ensuring that all documents are submitted this time, I supposed to get all the necessary 'hanko' through circulation by right. However, I realised in order to save myself the trouble, occassionally I have to "go by the left way" to complete the papers. I skipped a few protocols in that sense. Of course, I can't do that for all the time. Yet, this is the only way to save not only my time, but the time of my team. Obviously, the aim is to finish up this s*** that they started off, and complete the rest of the work for the team within this month as much as I could. If I could help them attain 90% completion before my attachment ends, I could potentially gain some good reputation at work.

P.S. Life is not just about going right, but at times we need to know when to turn left too.

Thrown Into The Sea To Learn How To Swim

2008-03-03T21:18:00.004+08:00

I am transfered to the other department within the Japanese Corporate Banking Division. I am supposed to provide administrative support to one of the marketing teams in that department. This attachment would be for at least a month. Apparently, a lady left the team not too long ago, and the company has yet to find anyone to replace her. I am the next best substitute for them now. I don't think I have learnt everything I need to know for the last one month to apply to this position.

Now I truly feel like I'm being thrown into the deep sea, and forced to learn how to swim by myself. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise. I could potentially learn a lot more than the first one month acting busy most of the time. Whatever I learnt now could also be useful to my future career as a marketing officer.

Yet, at the same time, I felt the disbelief when my mentor knew about my transfer and that the boss has assigned me a team to handle all by myself. I knew she didn't like me as much as she likes Mr. D (who was previously interning at my department). I tried not to ask her too many questions. Instead, I will ask around different people at workplace. Of course, I will try to figure out on my own first before asking around. I guess that would be the best option for me at this current stage.

I hope everything at work will eventually work out. I can gain the trust and respect from my bosses with the added responsibilities.

P.S. With great power comes great responsibilities.

Acting Busy

2008-02-22T18:38:00.002+08:00

My mentor was on leave today. I ended up reading M5 the whole day. The only highlights of my day is lunch with two seniors, and sneaking to Amoy for dessert with another senior. This was not the first day I had to act busy at my current posting. However, today is the only day I did nothing but read the text in preparation for my examination in March. I am so tired of asking for work to do every day. At the same time, I feel bad that other in my workplace is probably getting "jealous" that I am paid to do nothing. I wish I could help but there's limited things for me to do. I know so little at the moment to be of much assistance to the rest in my department. What can I do?

P.S. I am attaining the highest level of how to appear busy when I am not busy. That's a technique I have mastered so far.

For The Sake Of Beauty

2008-02-20T22:55:00.002+08:00

The final cost for my dental will be SGD 5.5K. The dentist has suggested an alternative plan to a surgery of my upper jaw. The latter would have add another SGD 10-20K to the initial quotation of SGD 5K for the braces. This alternative plan will, however, mean a little sacrifice to be made. I shall not reveal what it is. It will be a little secret. Most importantly, I can finish up the whole treatment in a year or so. That would certainly help cut down the long and painful process of having the braces on. For the sake of beauty, I think any girl would be willing to fork out a huge fortune like me.

2009 will be the ultimate year to achieve the dream I had 11 years ago. At the same time, I am also counting down to the most important month of that year - September. That will be exactly two years from the day I start work. I have a bigger plan ahead then. I hope I can achieve that goal too in 2009.

Study Time

2008-02-18T22:12:00.004+08:00

I have to clear Module 5: Rules and Regulations For Financial Advisory Services within a month. That's the deadline set by my boss. Hence, I am taking my exam on March 12. I'm still less than halfway into the book. At the moment, I am still trying hard to remember whatever I've read. My memory has never been good. I normally have to work twice or thrice as hard as others to memorize things.

Meanwhile, I am planning to go for my braces. Apparently, my layout of my teeth is very problematic. The dentist quoted me $5K for the whole process. I think the cost would increase further given that my wisdom teeth are affecting the growth of my other teeth. I will probably have to go through surgeries to pull them out. Each teeth would probably make myself "quarantine at home" for two weeks. This may sound too good for many people (to have two months of medical leave with 4 wisdom teeth being pulled out). However, the most crucial thing is that I can't afford two months' of break with the current work status of mine. I have to meet up with the dentist and see if we could work out a plan such that I won't delay the plan to put on braces (since normally such process will take at least two years) and not resort to taking too many days off work. I really can't afford at this juncture. I will be doing a switch to another division in March.

Naturally Careless

2008-02-15T22:23:00.004+08:00

After a session with my department head, I am handed more assignments to do these days. However, I am still relatively unfamiliar with the documentations. And I am given my first "hanko" rubber stamp with your name engraved on that is used in many Japanese firms). Now I must stamp on every documents I've processed, which represents that I've undertaken responsibilities to check through any details stated in the documents.

Perhaps I'm born naturally careless. Despite numerous checks, I still continue to make mistakes. I think my mentor is not very happy about my current performance. I think she has already formalized a bad impression of me. This is really a bad start! I have to really "watch my back" (literally, that phrase applies to my situation where my whole division is sitting behind me again). This department is one of the worst gossips area. Everyone is watching over you. A very high political risk region.

I met up with my Venezuela teacher that day. She gave me some good pieces of advices about work life. I might have to heed her advices in order to survive in the department. Stay focused at work! I will have to be extra careful with my own work (especially those I need to "hanko"). Then I have to "open one eye, close one eye" to the things around me. People might stabbed you without you knowing, even those whom you treat you as friend. But you can choose not to backstab them at all. Stay clear of such risks! Colleagues are colleagues. Concentrate on giving your best at work and hopefully they will finally change their bad perceptions of you to good ones.

P.S. As of date, one of the graduate trainee colleagues has already decided to tender and grab a better opportunity out there. That means 11 of us from the programme are left currently. I presume more will soon leave too.

Friends Or Foes

2008-02-09T08:59:00.001+08:00

I quoted this from a friend's blog...

"When friends lie or disappoint me time and time again,
I get a little tired.
But I still go along with them,
Accept the lie,
Continue listening to their mistakes,
Struggle to be unaffected by the hurting words, actions, decisions,
Just because i want to be there for them."

I admit I am slow in observing things happening around me. I don't jump into my own conclusion till I have enough concrete evidences. However, it hurts to know that someone you treat as friend hasn't been telling you the truth again and again. He/She has to repeatedly tell more lies to cover the first lie he told you.

Friends or foes? Honestly, I rather make one more friend than one more enermy. However, I really have no more courage to accept him/her as a friend whom I can trust anymore.

On a happy note, I finally understand what has been going around me. I also found out who has been real to me these days.

Show No Indications

2008-02-03T11:05:00.000+08:00

I went to a friend (Mr. Y) 's house for a mini potluck gathering. The rest used to be classmates. I went in the name of a special guest in a way because I know all of them, but I was only in the same class as some of them (not on close terms though). Mr. K was there too. He was probably the closest friend there for me.

A few of us stayed for mahjong session. I was dragged along to play with the promise I will be sent home. (^^,) We played one full round (that means going through all the 4 winds). In the end, Ms. J won $11, and made herself the ultimate winner. This time I managed to win $1. Apparently, this was not as stressful as the last time I played with my colleagues, who are apparently all mahjong experts.

After the mahjong session, as promised, I was sent home by Mr. K. He looked really tired, driving less than 60 km/h on the way back. He tried asking me if I want to go for MacDonald with him so he can grab some coffee to keep him awake for the ride back. Eventually, I gave up ignoring his persistent requests (I turned down a few invitation from him yesterday). I went for my hotcakes at a 24-hour fast food restaurant near my house. I think I only returned home at around 6 a.m. and get some sleep. However, I woke up at 10.30 this morning. I haven't had enough sleep for the last consecutive nights. I must start replenish my sleep soon.

First Posting Week

2008-02-02T10:40:00.000+08:00

I owned an assignment to my mentor from the last internship. I had no choice but to "moonlight" to complete the work. At the same time, I must learn to be diplomatic this time, so I did not dare to tell anyone from my current department. I secretly finished up the paper and finally finished up the paper on Wednesday.

I had a mentor attached to me for two weeks. Basically, she will teach me the various products and how to process their application whenever she has some time to spare. After the brief lesson, she will give me some new assignment to try out. Most of the time, I can knock off very early. However, I am still trying to get used to that because I hate being the first to go home when my whole department is still around.

Anyway, I was glad I joined my division (there are currently 3 divisions in my department, with the 4th coming up soon) for a dinner event. We went to this Japanese restaurant for dinner. I would say the dinner was an informative session for me. I discovered who are their common targets within the division and within the department. In addition, I also get to know some information on my various Japanese bosses. I won't try scolding them in Mandarin because a few of them can understand and speak the language. After dinner, we went to St James. Most of the locals sneaked home. As the lowest status ranking officer, I went with them and only reached home close to 1 a.m. The next morning I nearly overslept again.

Yesterday I went out with some university friends after work to Geylang for some steamboat. Along the way, we saw many "ugly sight of life". Or put it in a nicer way - "the real side of life in Singapore". We see people peddling drugs, selling smuggled cigarettes, and feel many eyes of the guys on us. We decided to go for KTV session after dinner, but the place was fully booked. We decided to head down to Loof for some drinks.

Before & After Designated Leave

2008-01-28T19:37:00.000+08:00

I went Bangkok over the designated leave between 23 and 26 January. I finally met up with my Argentinian friend. Although I didn't get the chance to meet up with my Thai friends, I had a great time shopping and eating in Bangkok (if you disregards the horrendous experiences with AirAsia flights). The break has certainly given me a chance to really relax myself. I am eventually on the road to recovery.

I am back at work today, and started my first posting. My current seat is "strategically" right across from the GM. I think he probably noticed I was restless after lunch (with the post-lunch effect and no 'coffee of the day'). Besides the first posting, this morning we had a grand ceremony of "graduation" (from the graduate trainee program). The GM was also there to present a speech and certificates to us. In fact, today seems to be a "fateful day". I even bumped into the GM in the lift this morning. Our meeting was a little awkward. I only noticed him in the corner of the lift when I went in. There was no chance for me to exit the lift. I greeted him "morning" with an awkward tone. Then, when the lift reached the right floor, though I was standing in front of the door, I had to politely let him out of the lift first. And now I will be facing him for at least two weeks till there is available seat for me at my division.

Secrets

2008-01-22T22:11:00.001+08:00

Everyone chose to keep his/her own secrets. I respect such decision. Yet, at the same time, I felt the distance I had with him. I'm not sure if he has told me more than the other ten. Many people would think I am the best person to console him when he feels down, even Mr. L seems to have faith in me. I don't even know if I have such faith in myself.

He has let me into a little of something that happened to him. However, he certainly didn't want to elaborate the story behind what changed him. I had a feeling that was what led to our previous conversation about "colleagues are colleagues" that happened few months ago. That feeling kept me thinking. As an inquisitive girl, I have a lot of questions for him but I knew he would only choose to answer me when he feels like it.

In addition, he might seem to have recover from the whole episode of the selection process. Likewise, I don't know what exactly happens. However, quoting his words, "in the corporate world, it's not what you know and do, it's others' perception of what you know and do, plus the people you know", I knew one word could sum up this whole story - "politics". This is how ugly politics can get.

Although at the end of the day I might take another few months to realise what has gone wrong (just like how I finally seemed to understand why the sudden phrase of "colleagues are colleagues"), I know I still treat him as a friend and sincerely hope he will eventually find joy in life.

P.S. I might not have any idea whether he treats me as friend. A friend whom he can trust with his secrets.

Numerous Consultation

2008-01-22T22:01:00.000+08:00

My cough has not improved over the week. I went for the second consultation with the doctor on Sunday.

In the end, my right eye started giving me problem these days. It became quite red yesterday, and began giving me blur vision yesterday. I had to survive without any contact lens and spectacles this morning to provide my eyes some rest. Luckily, my degree was not too high. I managed to get to office safely. However, I decided to play safe and went for my third consultation (in the last one week plus). The doctor gave me some medications and strongly advised me to stop using make-up and contact lens for at least the next one week. I had no choice but to heed his advice for my Bangkok trip, so I will be spotted with my spectacles for the whole trip. I will try to take off my spectacles for photos though (I'm still keen to look pretty in my photos). In addition, I will have to bring along my cough syrup, as well as my medications for the eye.

I hope I will still enjoy my Bangkok trip before I return for my new work, which will commence on Monday.

P.S. I will be in Bangkok from 23-25 Jan.

Trade

2008-01-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

Synopsis:

TRADE provides a compassionate look at an ugly world. In Mexico City, men kidnap13-year-old Adriana (Paulina Gaitan) with the intent of selling her virginity to the highest bidder.

Young Polish beauty Veronica (Alicja Bachleda) is held captive by the same men, and they threaten her young son across the ocean. As the criminals mistreat their victims, Veronica is Adrianas only solace as she is taken farther and farther away from home. Meanwhile, Adrianas older brother, Jorge (Cesar Ramos), begins to track his sister across the Mexican border into Texas and through the United States. On his mission, he runs into a Texas cop named Ray (Kevin Kline) who agrees to help him without ever really saying why.

Opinions:

The movie was a reflection of reality, discussing issues like human trafficking, drugs, corruption and street crimes etc. which are still common problems in Latin America, or rather around the world.

Human trafficking, a global issue that happens in every continent, from Asia to Latin America. The sad truth is that such things happened every day in our world, where many girls and boys are being kidnapped, and forced into being sex slaves.

In the movie, a boy was drugged, and sold to a pedophile. Another pretty young lady (Veronica) was cheated into the sex trade, when she ventured to Mexico in the hope of sending his son to U.S. When she realised her son was snatched away from home by the syndicate, and she chose to end her life in front of Manuel, one of the kidnappers. That was probably how true how life of these victimes eventually ended up in reality too.

Although Jorge eventually managed to save his sister from the clutch of those kidnappers, the show ended off with the child of kidnappers calling out "Dad!" after seeing his dad lying dead on the ground (he was stabbed by Jorge). That left me with such great impact. I am impressed with the director and scriptwriter of the movie by that last scene, which depicts how in real life, people involved in these crimes might also have their families, but for survival or for money, they might just choose such "occupation". This was similar to what Jorge did at the beginning of the movie - cheating tourists at the plaza and then robbing them at some deserted alley. There are probably many people out there on the streets of developing countries like those in Latin America, who chose to commit crimes for the sake of money.

A sad movie that has very profound meaning. Yet, the movie is simple to understand, with an interesting plot. The director has purposely left out not explaining explicitly if Ray eventually finds his daughter, and has chosen to leave it as a mystery till the end. However, the expression in Ray seemed to hint that the kidnapper could likely be his daughter, which indicates a deeper meaning to it...

Friends

2008-01-18T23:52:00.000+08:00

I am certainly feeling much better now. Or rather I finally regained my calmness. Perhaps I was recovering slightly from my cough and running nose too.

In fact, I didn't quite finish my story that day. I was grateful that I had friends around me when I needed them most that day. They accompanied me at different point in time of the day to console me. Although their methods of consolation vary, I really appreciate the little effort and time they put in for me.

Ms. S sat down with me, and listened to me as I started crying again. She was probably the second person that day to see me breaking down. Occasionally, she would give me a pat on the back to give me encouragement. I am sure if I have allowed her, she would have given me a hug too. I guess a hug can mean a lot to a friend, and nothing can be more realistic than such interaction between friends.

That day I didn't want to venture out for lunch with the rest, as I was still recovering from my illness. I briefly told Mr. T what happened in the morning. I guess he was concern so he came to check on me during lunch after finding out that I was eating in. We ate at L9 together. As I repeat the story to him over my lunch, my tears uncontrollably welled up in my eyes, and they began to stream down my face. He was totally stunned that I actually started crying. I quickly wiped off my tears. Luckily, I did it fast enough before Ms. C came along, and then the rest also discovered that I was at L9 too. I really didn't want to let too many people know that I broke down in front of Ms. K, the HR personnel that morning, but I believed Mr. T has somehow let Ms. C know about it, and that's why she came to look for me at L9.

I think I worked till 7pm that day, then Mr. L who kept me occupy with the to and fro emails asked me to go dinner together. We left for dinner at Amoy. He did not probe into the matter until he made sure we have our food in front of us, and after I started eating. Ultimately, I was quite prepared to tell him the storey, as he has always been giving me advices like a big brother. As usual, he gave me his words of encouragement too.

I must say it's quite an "achievement" by itself to tear in front of three different people at different point in time of a single day. That is so unlike the recent me, who appears so assertive and to possess very strong characters. Quoting the words of one of them, "everyone has their weakest points life." At the end of the day, I had no idea why I was so overwhelmed by the emotions. I was still feeling the tears coming into my eyes when I reached home. However, I am still grateful for three friends who have accompanied me when I needed them.

Now how I wish I could do the same thing for them (or rather all my friends) too...like Mr. T.

I know he is devastated with everything from the company to the first posting that he might choose to leave the company. As a guy, he certainly won't tear in front of others. However, crying is considered an avenue to let out all feelings. It's better than bottoming up till your body cannot cope. Though what I did may seem a little dumb too.

At this present moment, I have no idea how to encourage him. I could only offer him a listening ear, but ultimately there's very little I can do. He probably will choose to keep everything to himself. That's his character. Yet, everyone could tell that he has been rather moody these days. As a friend, I really like to do something to give him some encouragement, and hope he will stay on at least for half a year before moving on. I learnt my lesson the hard way. I guess having worked at least a year in a company before transiting to another environment would be better, or risk having to explain to the prospective employer(s).

How I wish I could do something for him now...

Totally Not Myself Today...

2008-01-16T21:40:00.000+08:00

I was totally not myself today...

I was already sweating profusely since early morning. I felt that my whole body temperature dropping. I was not sure if it was all due to the illness, which I have yet to recovered from.

I met my senior buddy at the ladies. She heard about my choices, and told me that I should talk to the senior in my department, who is in the division that I put as first choice. I could sense that she was warning me about something. In fact, she has told me that the department head at that division is very strict with timing.

Then I received a call from Ms. K, the HR personnel. She told me that the department head of my first choice (for my first posting) wants to see me. I decided to reconfirm what my senior buddy has told me earlier. I approached the senior and affirmed that he was really leaving. Previously, I have already heard from someone else he's leaving the company but I was not sure since I have never heard from him. He also told me that the department head is indeed a tough character to handle. I would be stuck in that division, and she does not easily allow for leave to be taken. His words came short and straight to the point. He told me enough to tell me that if I put that as my first choice, I would never attain what I want eventually - to get back to the current division I am in, where my interest truly lies. Although my current division and the division I chose as first choice belong to the same department, the heads who are in-charge are totally different characters. I got all the information I want in just 15 minutes.

I had to make my decision in 5 min. The deadline was 9am. I decided to shift up my choices to place my stakes on one department, which is my second choice. It might seem a dumb choice.

I went up to Ms. K after submitting my choices. I had a one-to-one talk with her. I told her my rationale and my worst case scenario was to get into the compliance team. She tried to probe for my second worst case scenario. I told her blatantly my true feelings was I felt that there was no other department I rather go into. As I talked to her, I started breaking down and began to tear. It was just too short a time to make the decision after getting the information in one morning, or rather in less than half an hour (given the chaotic email checking the moment I reached office after a day of sick leave).

Old & New Friends

2008-01-12T11:10:00.000+08:00

I like the feeling of meeting up friends, whom you haven't met up for ages. And it's always nice to make new friends, who are fun loving.

Yesterday I met up some university friends and got to know their friends at Minds Cafe. Then we went to a club near Jumbo Seafood at Boat Quay area. The club has quite a young crowd, and you will see a lot of couples who were busy making out rather than enjoying the music and the dance. I must admit I am not really a clubber. I actually prefer to chill out with friends. Hence, I enjoyed sitting on the sofa, sipping my vodka-lime while most of my friends were on the dance floor. I also managed to have a long one-to-one session with one of my friends, who is also one of my best travelmates. However, I am now suffering from a bad throat after talking at the top of my music against the music. After clubbing, we went to a Bak Kut Teh place at Circular Road. Initially we wanted to go to the famous one across from Central, but we realised it was closed. Hence, we headed for the one at Circular Road. The soup was filled with pepper. I guess I didn't quite like it. I must really try the famous one the next time I go there.

The plan for today is to laze around the pool with a good friend at One George Street. Forget about guys. Forget about work. Let's enjoy life on the first day of the weekend!!!

I should be meeting more friends at night too! That will be an absolutely awesome way to end off Saturday!

Three Guy Friends

2008-01-10T23:09:00.000+08:00

I just feel like blogging about the three guy friends, namely Mr. K, Mr. L and Mr. T (these initials are different from the rest of my entries) that have appeared or re-appeared in my life these days.

1) Mr. K

We used to be very close friends. We haven't been in contact for quite some time, till recently we started chatting on msn. We met up over a movie once. Then we tried to meet up over quite a number of movies. However, eventually the plans fell through due to various "unforeseen circumstances".

There was one day I felt really upset over some news at work. I happened to see him online and started chatting with him. Not only did he act as my listening ear, but he also told me that I could call him anytime if I needed to talk to someone. That was so sweet of him.

Realising that I was looking for a weekend plan that day, he even asked if I want to join him and his friends for Mahjong and basketball sessions. In the end, I arranged for other plan, but in the evening he came over to my area and asked me out for dinner/supper. We chatted over the food. I really feel like I was back in school whenever I am around him. Life seems so much more simple.

However, we just like to remain as friends for now no matter whether he still has a litte liking for me (as he used to like me). I chose to give myself some time. Yet the feelings towards him have always been very complex. I have no idea how I should express, but many things have happened and the many people that have come into our lives during these years that we did not really contact each other.

2) Mr. L

I've been chatting with him via emails more often than with the rest of my trainee friends. Although most of the time we spent time talking crap, we kept each other "entertained" with the emails that go to and fro, which kept me awake during my self-reading and browsing through pages of google hits (while waiting for the slow PCs and internet to download the various pdf documents).

Occasionally, we will even "sneak out" together at 5pm for dinner at Amoy. The day before his birthday the two of us even went for lunch at Maxwell without notifying the rest. I think he does not seem to make a huge affair out of his birthday. As a friend, I respect his wishes and only treat him to a simple lunch. The lunch only cost $5, but I hope he can appreciate my sincerity.

He really makes a good friend, giving me advices whenever I feel down. The rest of the trainee friends probably have no idea that we've got so close as friends lately. I think we also prefer to keep our friendship "an underground affair" so as not to invite too much unnecessary gossips at workplace.

3) Mr. T

He seemed to have isolated himself from the rest of us, including me previously. Recently, he began to make more frequent visits to my department, where one of my other trainee friends and I are attached to for the internship. He will come by to talk to us.

A few days' ago, we went out lunch together. He was the only one from the trainee program who did not join us. After lunch, I was cheekily trying to ask him where did he go for his lunch date. He readily admitted he went on a "date". I was quite shocked initially, but I decided to play along and finally found out who he went lunch with.

The next day he finally joined us for lunch. When he found out that I had a blog, he wanted to know the url, which I wouldn't give him this current one that has too much information on my workplace. He actually said something like he treated me as friend, and told me a "secret" and I should in return be willing to share my "secret" - my blog's url. I was shocked and happy upon hearing that because he was the one who told me that "colleagues are colleagues" and ruled out that I was a friend of him few months ago. I was still thinking previously if he ever treated me as a friend. Now the mystery is finally solved.

I am glad he is treating me as a friend the way I treated him as one. I really hope this friendship will last. Although I must admit I don't know this friend well enough (he kept too many things to himself), I know there is a part of me that is willing to sacrifice for this friend because he is worth keeping as a friend.

Priorities in Life

2008-01-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

I managed to get some life beyond work these days. I've been going out with friends lately. At the same time, I feel that life is getting more complex too. Perhaps as you grow older, your intuition works better or rather you become more sensitive to things around you. However, I really don't want to give any false hopes to anyone. At this moment, work is my foremost priority in life. In addition, I've been through too much guessing work last year. I guess now I just want to sit back and enjoy life first. There are just too much complexity to consider in a relationship. Of course, I don't want fate to slip again after so many years. However, I also don't want to jump into something I am not ready for.

Last Internship

2008-01-08T21:28:00.001+08:00

It's like the 4th week into my last internship. I still have no idea much about my division. Once again my boss(es) sit behind me. Or rather my boss sits at the furthest end from me, while my big boss sits directly behind me. I am in fact closer to the other divisions within my department.

After weeks of self-reading, I am finally given some assignments to do. These assignments kept me slightly more motivated at work. Reading is essential to gain knowledge on the concepts and terminologies of the department, but it can get a little dry without doing some value-adding tasks. Most people would probably dread the idea of staying back late in office. On the contrary, I am glad that I have work to do. I don't mind staying on to finish up the research given to me. However, I can't stay beyond 8 pm. My boss tries chasing me back home yesterday, which signals that I probably won't get any dinner allowance even if I stayed on. Hence, it would be better for me to leave before that. I will still try to finish up the assignments given to me by the deadline, and hopefully I have done a good job on them too. Well, I just hope everything turns out well at work...

No Smoke Without Fire

2008-01-04T23:03:00.000+08:00

I heard rumors that there won't be enough vacancies for the graduate trainees. Most departments are not opening up during this period, probably due to head count issues (i.e. budget). The worst thing is I also heard that my current division is also not recruiting at the moment. When you finally thought you found your direction in life, you realised you can't fulfil that dream and achieve your goal. I was totally upset after hearing the 'rumors'. At this point in time, we have no evidence to verify the source of the news. However, there's no smoke without fire. I just hope that when my big boss returns from his holiday, he will bring back some good news for me.

I came home after work still feeling the impact of the news. Luckily, two good friends cheered me up a little. One of them was sweet enough to tell me I could always give him a ring if I need a listening ear...

The Angel & Devil

2008-01-04T23:02:00.000+08:00

I came across this at a friend's blog. I thought it is quite interesting, and decided to share with those who read my blog too.

每个男孩都曾是地狱的恶魔，当遇到自己喜欢的女孩时，便会动心，于是变为凡人。所以女孩一定不要辜负男孩，不然男孩又要回到地狱。每个女孩都曾是无泪的天使，当遇到自己喜欢的男孩时，便会流泪，于是变成凡人。所以男孩一定不要辜负女孩，因为女孩为你放弃了整个天堂!

D-Day Is Coming

2008-01-03T21:32:00.000+08:00

D-Day = Decision Day or is it Doom Day?!

The HR personnel has sent out the email to all graduate trainees, informing us that she's waiting for the final confirmation of vacancies from the JGM / department heads. Meanwhile, she wants us to reply her with our decisions (stating our top three choices for the final posting).

I will probably put Project Finance - Advisory & Finance as my first choice. That's where I am now. Although I still have no idea how real work is going to be like in the department, I think that's the closest to where I like to venture into in the future (to where I belong). Those friends who know me well enough will know "where" I am talking about - the other side of the world. I finally made up my mind, especially after talking to the guy on exchange (from JBIC). I heard from my other colleague that he will be posted to Latin America soon. No wonder he told me that perhaps there will be a chance we might meet in Latin America. How I wish my Spanish could match his (he took 6 months of the language in Salamanca)! Hopefully, I will get my opportunity soon. At least I found my direction.

Of course, not everyone has such a clear idea of where they want to be in. I was talking to a colleague, whom I know hasn't been quite happy with the job positions he has been given so far. He probably still does not know what he really wants in life. I feel sad for him. At the same time, I hope he will find himself a direction soon. I also hope the rest of the trainees could get their choices this time.

I think all the reflections done last year had done me good. My thoughts are much clearer these days. I have my plans laid out for 2008. I become more optimistic, hoping that I will achieve the goals I had set for this year.

Reflections 2007 & Resolutions 2008

2007-12-31T22:04:00.000+08:00

As the year comes to an end, I looked back at what I've achieved. I realised 2007 has indeed been an eventful one for me.

Major events in 2007:

1. I finally graduated (to the relief of my parents), but I still miss school. I had an amazing university years achieving many things in life that many of my peers could not have achieved.

2. I paid off my liabilities and was left with a tight budget. At least I don't have to worry the high interest rate charged at 4.25% per annum anymore.

3. I brought my mum to Tokyo and managed to survive with my poor Japanese.

4. I attained the Spanish Diploma Basic Level, which I have no idea what use I would have as of now.

5. I was at the crossroads deciding the career path I should pursue.

6. I finally landed myself my current job and felt really blessed to be offer a placing in an industry related to my studies.

In the coming year, I hope it will be a year of achievements.

Resolutions 2008

1. I hope to get into the department I am in now. I believe the field of work is specialised enough to keep me motivated on my learning curve.

2. I hope to get my braces done. It's been more than 10 years since I last checked out the prices for braces. It would certainly be an achievement to fulfil the dream I used to possess.

3. I hope to workout on a more regular basis. I have just signed up a year of membership with Fitness First, which has a branch located in the building of my office. I will be joining my colleague(s) who are already members of the club.

4. I hope to make true friends at work and in my social life. It's always good to have a couple of true friends, especially those who will be there when you need them.

5. I hope to meet up with friends in Bangkok in January when I am there. My Argentinian friend (a great 'Spanish teacher' of mine) will be flying in to Asia for holiday. I will try to meet up with him. In addition, I am planning to meet up with my Thai friends, whom I have not met for years (since those days we worked together in U.S.).

6. I hope to go Germany and visit my cousin and friend there. The plan is yet to be drawn up. I will try to arrange leave to visit Europe, a continent I have yet to venture into.

幸运儿 “The Lucky One"

2007-12-30T23:18:00.000+08:00

昨天心血来潮就踏进了书局，随手就拿了一本几米的《幸运儿》来读。其实好久好久都没再翻阅书本，更别说是华文书籍了。从新拿起书本的感觉让我回到读书时期... ...

几米的书带着绚丽多彩的图、简单的文字，却总是带着一点黑色幽默。《幸运儿》也不例外。故事反映了很多人生中的矛盾... ...

我们总是羡慕那些拥有很多很多的人，但是这些人是快乐的吗？或则也许我们拥有很多，但当我们真正拥有时，我们却不懂得珍惜, 直到失去了，我们才懂得后悔。

当一个人像小鸟被捆在笼子里，没有亲人、没有朋友，人生是孤寂的。或许有一天没有人会记得你是谁，也没有人会想起你。但是没有人是一个孤岛。大家都须要爱他的人。被爱是幸福的。懂得去爱更是难得的。特别是懂得博爱，默默地帮助身边的人也是种幸福。

The Warlords

2007-12-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

I just reached home after watching 'The Warlords' with an university friend...

I must say that the movie is certainly another breakthrough for Peter Chan. The Hong Kong director has filmed different genres of movies such as 'Perhaps, Love", but this is the first time he did a war film based on a historical event. Watching this movie was considered quite amazing for me because I saw the director in person when he was here in Singapore few months ago.

'The Warlords' , a movie that revolves around brotherhood with many hidden meanings. The scene of a wretched war field not only reflects the complicated relations among the various characters, but it also brings out the significance of peace. The innocents did not choose to go into war. Nor did the soldiers choose to fight the war. They were told to be fighting for the greater good of their own people. The irony of a cross (which symbolises protection) but always associated with death. The "Shan" (mountain) that cannot contain "Er Hu" (second tiger). [It's a chinese phrase, which my friend reminded me about.] And many more meanings that reflect reality...

The movie is also great because of the visual effects, especially the bloody war scenes. Perhaps not all girls would like it. However, if you like Saving Private Ryan, you would simply like this show too. Peter Chan has really done a good directing job in depicting the cruelty of war with the killing, the blood etc. Interestingly, the horses' eyes were covered up in one of the scenes. This is something I don't remember seeing in many films. From my understanding of horses, the idea is to prevent the horses from being distracted. I guess it's even crucial especially in warfare because the horses will often get jittery when they see the swords coming their way.

Although the storyline varies from the original in a way, the plot of the story is laid out very nicely from the start, giving a clear picture of the characteristics of the three brothers and the inter-relationships of these characters. The story is a little sad though. The 4,000 innocent soldiers that were killed despite the fact that they have chosen to surrender. The eventual death of the three brothers.

Overall, I really like the movie a lot. It really makes you reflect that life is like a war scene in a way. There is always so much complexity in relationships at work or in our social life. How much is the friendship we established worth?

Friday @ Work

2007-12-28T22:08:00.000+08:00

I feel that the week has gone by like a speed of light. It's already Friday again!

I am kept busy with research assignment beside the self-studying I have to do. My other mentor gave me a briefing session on financial modelling, which is something that I find intriguing to learn. Although I am not doing any real work at the moment, I feel a stronger urge to stay in the division to pursue the interests. The department is really specialised in its field. I believe there is a lot of learning opportunities for me, but the work involved would definitely be a steep learning curve for me.

In fact, as late Jan approaches, I feel increasingly anxious to know which department would open up vacancies to accomodate us. (The graduate trainee program will end in late Jan when we will be given a final posting based on demand and supply.) I hope my chance to stay in where I am now would be higher than the rest.

I think I grew closer to other colleagues (rather than my fellow trainees friends) recently.

One of them is Ms. S, my senior working in another department but I only discovered that she was from my university few months ago. I find her very approachable to chat with. Hence, we have started a chat on a daily basis over emails these days. We are even planning to head to Fitness First together starting next week.

The other colleague whom I always chat with over email was Mr. L. He has joined the company few months earlier than us, but he has the chance to join us for some of our training sessions. However, I remembered we only grew closer because of a bottle of Chardonnay. We met up over dinner together today and chatted about the 'crack' that he has observed in our group (the trainees). I cannot not agree with what he has said. I think it is quite obvious that all of the trainees have grown further apart from one another due to different reasons. Quoting what this colleague told me, at the end of the day, we are competitors to one another. That's so true! Yet it is saddening to see how everyone drifted apart from one another. Perhaps that's how true why 'colleagues can only be colleagues'. He really woken me up with his words. At the same time, I think I found myself a friend at work, whom I think I can trust.

Of course, trust will only come when the other party also trust in you. I shall see how these newfound friendships will be able to sustain the cruelty at workplace - the politics.

The Ups & Downs Of Life

2007-12-27T21:43:00.000+08:00

I've been getting a little emotional these days. I could be happy one second and sad the next moment.

At least I know today I woke up feeling better, probably due to some quality sleep the previous night. I also woke up on time and went out early. The train was super not crowded. I had a lot of "fresh air" for once on the train heading directly to Pasir Ris.

I knew I wasn't going to bump into him on the train. I purposely took the earlier train. He has no reasons to give me any mean comments again. I reaffirmed that I was going to reach earlier than him, as I even saw him at the usual spot through the glass panel of the doors when the train went passed his station. However, I felt a little shocked when he actually called me up. I decided to be nice. I waited for him at the final stop. Perhaps I still treat him as a really good friend no matter what happened between us previously. I knew I still care for him as a friend, and I hope he can stop being mean to me. Let's see if fate will bring us together on the same train tomorrow.

I also found a new motivation at work. My mentor handed me an assignment to do, which will keep me occupied. Researching for this assignment is certainly better than just doing self-studying. I could feel the fighting spirit in me even though the task is not an easy one to begin with. My other mentor has also given me a briefing on financial modelling today. He will try to finish up the briefing tomorrow. The topic is an interesting one. At the same time, it is also a complicated subject. I really hope to master as much as I could. These two things should keep me rather busy for the next two weeks.

Christmas

2007-12-25T09:19:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas to you!

My mood has certainly recovered a little. I went out shopping with my mum last Saturday to AMK Hub. Although I didn't get anything for myself, we bought a lot of food home. We also met up my brother, who got off work to eat at New York New York.

On Sunday, I met up with my JC friends at Sentosa. I am no longer crazy over getting tanned. In contrast, I am trying to avoid sun these days. However, for the sake of the company, I went down to Sentosa. I do enjoy watching them play beach volleyball, while I just chat and rest.

I stayed for a few hours only though because I made an appointment to meet a good friend for Golden Compass, a movie I always wanted to watch this December. I think if you don't hold too much expectation on this movie, you will enjoy the show better. Luckily, we watched the movie at The Cathay. It was not too crowded for my liking. After the movie, my friend accompanied me to buy some cards for my colleagues at PS. We then headed to City Hall for some drinks at Starbucks (the new one at Raffles City, which we managed to find seats).

Then I went to the northeast of Singapore (Kovan and Hougang area) to meet up my JC mates (including those who went Sentosa and those who didn't) at Hougang Mall for dinner. It's been a long time since I met most of them, so it was enjoyable catching up on one another's latest updates in life.

I must say the whole weekend was certainly fulfiling. I truly enjoy myself.

There was a festive mood at work on Monday. A few of the graduate trainees, including me were like Santa Claus, giving out cards and gifts. Although someone irritated me in the morning, I made a discovery after lunch. I had a short briefing session with one of my colleagues, which lasted only 15 min. We ended up chatting about Latin America and Spanish for another fifteen minutes. He is a Japanese expatriate, who studied in an university in Spain. That's so cool! He only took Spanish for a half a year, but when he speaks in the language, he certainly sounds fantastic. He was jokingly saying that his Spanish is probably better than his English. It just got me excited that I found someone who can speak fluent Spanish at work because it's SPANISH! Ok, I admit I am a little obsessed over the language. I really want to return to learn Spanish soon.

Which Sex & the City Character Are You?

2007-12-25T08:47:00.000+08:00

Which Sex and the City Character Are You?
	You are Carrie. You know what you want out of a relationship and you're not afraid to keep moving until you get it. Wit and charm are your biggest turn-ons, and you like guys who appreciate you for your mind as much as your body. You have fun playing the dating game, but secretly you just can't wait to find the guy who sweeps you off your feet and carries you into the sunset.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Latest Updates On My Life...

2007-12-21T21:34:00.000+08:00

I had a one-to-one session with one of the HR personnels last Tuesday. She provided me a breakdown of the scores based on our assignments, short job rotations and 5-week internship during the graduate trainee programme. I was not in the top 50% cohort of the batch of trainees. In fact, that was within my expectations. I know I am not the aggressive type among the twelve of us. Nor am I one of the smartest around. However, what shocked me was when the HR personnel asked me 'Who are you close to among the trainees?" The question really caught me. I didn't know how to reply her. I would probably have an answer for her if she has asked me few months ago. However, now I am not too sure who is my closest friend at workplace.

After the feedback session, I felt really down. Many things went into my head. I couldn't tell specifically what was the reasons behind that. Perhaps it was the low scores I had. Or maybe it was more of that question posed by the HR personnel.

I'm glad my mood recovered a little after watching National Treasure Part 2 yesterday. I really appreciate the friend who is willing to accompany me to watch the movie. Or else I might have to spend Hari Raya Haji doing my usual activities - sleep, watch tv, surf net and eat.

Although at the end of the day I still have no answers to the question, I believe I will find someone who is willing to reciprocate his/her feelings and treat me as a friend so long I remained true and sincere to people around me. I am not attempting to open up anyone who is unwilling to open his/her heart to me. I am not a superwoman. I am just trying to be myself.

Friendship

2007-12-02T21:02:00.001+08:00

Can colleagues only be colleagues/acquaintances and not friends? I thought the answer was NO.

Recently, I realised what you considered as friends might not be your friends afterall. Or worst, they never regarded you as their friends in the first place. That changed my opinion of friendships.

The words that were told to me may be mild as compared to betrayal. Yet, it still hurts to know that I have never had that friend in the first place.

I have invested so much into the friendship, willing to afford the time and energy with this friend. At that point in time, I thought he/she is also reciprocating by being nice to me. However, I realised at the end of the day, I was never regarded as a friend. Just a colleague or maybe only acquaintances.

I have no wish to guess what's on his/her mind, and why the sudden change in attitude towards me etc. Should I give up this so-called friendship? And treat him/her as a colleague?

P.S. Losing a friend is worst than losing love.

Crazy Way To End A Week...

2007-11-21T21:57:00.000+08:00

I am finishing my internship this week. However, the whole week has been rather crazy. It is going to be the same for the next few days.

Unlike my other peers, I have a lot of work to clear before the internship ends. Firstly, the deadline for the whole report is next week. My mentor is looking through what I've written so far. One last section and conclusion remain to be completed. I intend to finish up as much as I could for my team before the deadline.

Besides meeting the deadline of the report, I have to let my boss see my draft (whatever I have written together with my mentor). He needs to write my appraisal for the internship according to the performance of work. What makes things worst is that my boss is on leave this Friday and he will be away in Mumbai on a business trip next week. That means I have to edit the draft of my paper earliest by tomorrow or latest next week after getting feedbacks from my mentor. However, next week I will be starting my workshops. That is going to leave me little time to complete.

In addition, I still have to organize my thoughts to write my journal. This last assignment of the internship is to be handed to the HR, and will be graded. The grades will be part of the evaluation scores that determine our final posting.

P.S. Demand and supply mechanism + "the fittest survive" = work life

Stardust

2007-11-11T10:12:00.000+08:00

A friend and I went to JP for Stardust, the fantasy movie yesterday. Returning to JP for the movie, all my memories of secondary school times came back to me. The shopping mall was still as crowded. The cinema looked packed with young people too.

The movie itself was great, with a simple storyline and some romantic elements added to it. The effects, scenary and cast were also not too bad.

P.S. Of course, what matters at the end of the day is the company one has.

Better Mood

2007-11-08T20:29:00.001+08:00

I am in a better mood this week, especially after the weekend. Probably my mentor is not around. That's is why I feel less pressurised. My average knock off time is capped at before 7pm this week. I just prayed hard that when my mentor is back, I can show her a good piece of work, which reached her expectations.

I met up with a few university friends on Thursday night after work to celebrate one of their birthdays. We went to a Shanghainese restaurant that serves great dumplings. After dinner, we shopped around Bugis Junction and eventually ended off the day with ice-creams at Swensens. However, I still headed off to Clarke Quay to meet my colleagues, who were chilling out at MacDonald. We only left at around 2plus in the morning. I probably reached home close to 3am, and slept till 10 plus in the morning.

Today I joined my colleagues at Tampines Sports Complex for badminton session. I must admit I was there for the company, not so much for the sake of the sports (because I haven't played for a long time). After two hours of games, we had our dinner at Ajisen (Tampines Mall). I guess that was enough for a day and so chose to go home.

P.S. It is the company that matters at the end of the day.

Mood

2007-11-03T23:46:00.000+08:00

I've been having foul mood these days. I think that's because I feel that I've not done up to expectations at work, and that pissed me off in a way. I always want to do the best at work. I like the feeling of recognition. However, I just feel that I fall short of all the expectations that people has on me.

I sounded a little harsh to my colleagues on Friday. I think a few of them are shocked at my huge reactions to the correspondences. Seriously, I think I was in the wrong.

Taking a break over weekend, I did some thinking on my report. I'm in a better mood now. I feel more motivated to prove my mentor wrong. I want to exceed their expectations of me. You can call it ambitious, but I am really keen to put my soul and heart on perfecting my work. I want to change the bad impression I have given them previously and do a detailed job. I've been through worst jobs. I am sure I just need to be given the chance to prove myself this time round to earn the recognition.

At least my mentor won't be around the whole of this week. I can put less pressure on myself and concentrate on my work. In addition, I plan to join my colleagues over dinner, i.e. leave office around 5 plus (a rare situation these days for me).

P.S. I need a listening ear that I can trust to release all the frustrations in me.

This Week

2007-10-30T21:49:00.001+08:00

I losing track of the day of the week. I can't tell if today is Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday anymore. Perhaps every weekdays feel the same now. I'm still working till 7plus every day. I might not be the last in my department to leave office, but I will make sure I am really get a rest when I can't think anymore for the day. However, I still feel that my report is not perfect enough. I need to find inspirations to write it.

I made a stupid mistake today. I dropped my new contact lens. I was left with half of the visibility the whole morning, but I managed to do up my graphs with only my right eye. I only managed to get a new one at IP during lunch and it was raining heavily. I had no choice but to use the underpass to get to that building. This is not the first time I lost my contact lens. However, it is my second time in a week's time. I accidentally dropped my contact lens box together with the lens into the toilet bowl. How careless can I be? I have only myself to blame.

P.S. I must be careful these days...

Halloween

2007-10-28T09:44:00.000+08:00

My university friends and I initially wanted to go Nectarie (the dessert store beside Lunar) , but it was too crowded. In the end, we went to Pump Room and had some drinks together. The place became very crowded before the soccer match was broadcasted. We stayed till half time and left for Mac. I had my hot chocolate, while my friends had their filet-o-fish meal and mcnuggets.

Sitting at Mac, we saw many people dresses up for the Halloween Party. There were various interesting characters. Below is a list of some of these characters:

1) Stormtroopers
2) Eyptian goddess
3) Warrior
5) L (from Death Note)
6) Mermaid
7) Fairy
8) Devil
9) Vampire
10) Angel
11) Bee
12) Ghost bride

The coolest costume I've seen is probably the Stormtroopers.

P.S. I really enjoy the "people watching" during Halloween.

Entertainment

2007-10-27T10:21:00.001+08:00

I just returned from ICA with my new biometric passport. I went there around 8am. There were already a long queue in front of me. I was made to "tour the circumference of ICA" (i.e. queuing around the building). However, I managed to get it in an hour's time. That's not too bad! At least I won't have to wait alone there for such a long period (I hate doing things without any company.)

I was so tired that I slept on the train on my way back home from ICA. I slept late on both Thursday and Friday night (1am and 2am respectively). In addition, I didn't get quality sleep yesterday because my cough and running nose worsened. Of course, insufficient sleep these days and working long hours have led to my slow recovery from the illness.

Anyway, I have no plans for today, except meeting two university friends tonight at Winebar. I am currently just "parking myself on msn". I might doze off any time (especially since my bed is not too far from my mac). I need to get some life! Friends who want shopping, chilling out etc can start dating me.

He

2007-10-26T23:57:00.000+08:00

I've managed to get to know him better these days, as we had more time to chat lately. I realised he makes a very good friend. We can chat on the same frequency. Perhaps not to extent of guessing what's on each other's mind, but we can chat on almost any topics. We were chatting late into the night that day. He finally revealed a little more about himself - his past with me. I think that's a big step for him because he seems quite secretive about himself sometimes. I think he is not comfortable to share too personal stuff with friends of the opposite sex. Well, maybe I can try to change him as a friend. An inquisitive friend he has here.

One Week Has Passed

2007-10-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

The first week of my internship (during the graduate trainee programme) has passed. I have spent the last one week doing the same report. My mentors have yet to review the report with me. They are very busy with their own reports. I was talking to one of them today. She commented that the report looks comprehensive. I take that as a compliment for now. However, I am still modifying my report. There's no deadline to it. I am just trying to do my best for that first assignment. Hopefully, I will get a good appraisal for my internship too.

Anyway I realised my worries that day were redundant. Everything was a false alarm. Thanks goodness! I feel so much better with the current status.

Work-Related Illness?!

2007-10-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

Is it really work-related illness?

I know I can be a perfectionist at work. I have been working late (till 7 plus) to organise my research for the market report. Yet I always feel that I have no done enough. I really need to check with my mentor soon if I am on the right track. By the end of the week, I should be sitting down with my mentor, finding out what else I need to improve on. It's always good to obtain some feedbacks about work.

However, I also realised there's something at the back of my head. I know I have to talk it out to get it off my load. Bottoming up all the emotions is exasperating. Finding the right person to talk to is another issue. Too bad I am only meeting Jin on Saturday night. Perhaps the best way is to face the music. Though I have no idea how I am supposed to put it into words.

At least I can still sleep early. The medicines should knock me out soon...

Start of Internship

2007-10-23T21:09:00.000+08:00

I just started my five-weeks' internship yesterday. I had a short briefing of the department, and spent the rest of Monday browsing through research reports. I hate just reading and doing nothing. What makes things worst is that I sat alone, facing the window. My whole department is behind me but I have no idea what goes on behind me. There is nobody beside me too. At the end of the day, my boss finally gave me the topic of the assignment. At least I know I have the assignment to do today.

I spent the whole day researching on my new assignment - market research on a particular industry in India. The industry comprises of a few sectors, which complicates the whole paper. I worked till around 7 in the evening today. However, I wasn't the last to leave though. Almost the whole of my department was still around. I bidded goodbye to my boss, mentor and my colleagues and left with Mr. W & Ms. H.

I am down with running nose, beside my cough... getting worst...hope I get well by the end of the week...

Dinner on Friday

2007-10-20T09:26:00.001+08:00

I went out with some of my university friends over dinner at Waraku, the Japanese restaurant @ Central. We managed to get a seat with a good view of Clarke Quay. The view was magnificient from the restaurant. It was simply romantic sitting there. Though two friends didn't join us. We had a good time gathering together, updating each other of our lives.

After dinner at Central, we went to Nectarie. A dessert place beside Lunar and Candy Bar. My friend had their ice-creams and cakes with alcohol content. I only tried a little of the cheesecake that has zero content of alcohol (so as to avoid worsening my cough conditions). The food 'looks and sounds' delicious. I will check out that place again next time when I recover.

P.S. I hate falling sick for such long period. Life is meaningless without good food.

Boring Friday

2007-10-19T14:52:00.000+08:00

An unproductive Friday.

I can't update my passport. I have to make a new biometric passport. That means I have to returned to ICA to collect that new passport, and queue for it. I hate queuing!

In addition, I did nothing since coming back from ICA. I had lunch with my dad at home, and took a nap. I slept more than an hour. I think the cough syrup really knocks me out. I hate falling sick!

I hope dinner with my university friends will turn out to be fun. That would pull me out of the abyss.

First Break

2007-10-16T19:43:00.000+08:00

Counting down to Wednesday 5pm! That's officially the time I will knock off and marks the start of my first break (Thu - Sun). Plans have been laid down as such:

Wednesday: Settler's Cafe & Zouk with my colleagues after work. Honestly, I have never been to Zouk. Nor have I attended any Mambo Nights before. Hence, tomorrow will be the day for me to check out the nightspot for once.

Thursday: JB with a friend in the day. I have no idea what time I will stayed there till. However, in the evening I will meet up my colleagues AGAIN at Cafe del Mar.

Friday: Dinner with Ms. W & gang at Waraku (Japanese).

However, before all these plans can ultimately be executed, I will need to finish another day of RDS (a department orientation). At 5.15pm, we will be having a debriefing session with Ms. K, one of the HR personnel (who takes care of us for now). No matter what, I am eagered awaiting for my first break from work!

JB Trip

2007-10-13T23:08:00.000+08:00

I just returned from JB with two friends. The trip was great! I had a 40-minute foot reflexology for Ringgit 26 and a sumptuous dinner at Kim Gary. Today is Hari Raya Puasa, and luckily there was no heavy traffic at the causeway. We went in the late afternoon (around 4.30pm) and returned to Singapore at around 10pm.

Colleagues At Work

2007-10-13T03:02:00.000+08:00

There is always a variety of characters in a workplace. So is mine. Even the twelve of us each has a distinct characteristic. Below is my personal opinion:

Ms. S - Individualist. She likes to give herself personal space and time. While we are discussing about Friday outing, she was back at her workstation doing her journal. You have to open up yourself before she will open up to you. Then there was this other time...during group discussions, she will sit in one corner, making her own notes. However, her notes are really detailed and nice.

Ms. M - Blunt. She often says things without showing much delicacy or considerations. It's good to be honest sometimes. However, over-doing it might cause you some trouble in the future (not with me), especially in terms of managing relationships. Perhaps being young you can still be blatant about it.

Ms. R - Down to earth. She talks like a school teacher (and in fact, is a tuition teacher as part-time). Good natured girl. She has this motherly nature, bringing me drinks every morning and giving me Vitamin C when I am sick.

Ms. A - Blur. She can be blur like 'sotong'. She looks really serious. However, most of the time she's in her own world. Nevertheless she's a smart girl (graduating from the R's school). She gets along well with Mr. E and often seemed bickering with Mr. D.

Ms. H - Inquisitive. She looks quiet, but she is a very inquisitive girl. She loves to ask a lot of questions during the job orientation. And she is also very hardworking and always taking down notes like Ms. S.

Ms. T - Optimistic. As saintly as her name sounds, she is always with her wide grin. She's a good natured girl who can get along well with the girls and the guys. I am still thinking of ways to make her wear a skirt. That's a huge challenge.

Mr. D - Hyper. He may not have graduated from Finance (he's from Engineering), but he has the most experience in the banking industry among us. He has a boyish face, but he is intelligent. He is the type of person who can spend little time to finish up reading and digest everything he read. He is very energetic and hyper. Talks a lot. In fact, he repeats himself a couple of time to emphasize certain things. Age probably plays a part in his long-winded speeches. He's the oldest among us. Anyway, I nearly forgot to mention he's a great singer in our group.

Mr. S.G. - Crappy. He looks quiet, but he loves to crack jokes with us. At time his jokes can be a little childish. He acts strangely in front of me though. He does a lot of sweet-talk. I have no idea why he's acting so weirdly. Nevertheless, he is very hardworking to prove himself at work. His credit risk management report is as long as Mr. D.

Mr. S.H. - Quiet. He will quietly sit in a corner, looking at his handphone (probably chatting with his girlfriend). He will crap a joke once in a while, but he always gives a very serious look after joking. This makes it hard to tell his jokes from serious talks at times. He jokes more when we are in a small group.

Mr. E - No sense of direction. He possessed this X-factor that makes him a very good friend of girls. In fact, I think he's very sporty about the ideas put forward, he is well-liked by the guys too. However, he can be so clueless when it comes to directions. He needs GPS to drive or at least someone who knows the road to direct him. Even asking him to go along a straight road, he might get lost. I have no idea how he survived his army navigating in the jungle.

Mr. W - Secretive. He is a regular smoker but for some reason he's been hiding the fact from everyone else (the 11 of us). He is being very secretive about it. I have no idea what is the reason behind. Anyway, he always sound sarcastic to me but in a playful manner. However, he has a very good-natured character, which makes him a good friend to chat with.

That's all for the description of my colleagues. I shall do a more detailed write-up next time after more observations.

Different Work Culture

2007-10-11T22:20:00.000+08:00

It's my second month at work. Adapting to the working culture is a challenge here. Those who come from European or American firm will probably experience more of a culture shock. Below are some of the cultural tips given to us:

1) PUNCTUALITY is a must. 8.30a.m. means 8.30a.m. A biometric system is present to keep a record of your login and logout time. A report will be submitted to your boss every Monday.

2) Lot of PAPERWORK. Everything needs a 'hanko' (rubber stamp) for approval. You can imagine how much 'hanko' is required before a decision is made. Of course, you will also see papers flying here and there trying to get 'hanko'.

3) ACT busy. The natives will be the first to come and the last to leave. One of them once sent out an email at 1 a.m. However, we discovered that there are colleagues, who didn't stay late to finish up work. Instead, they are some good artistes hiding their talents in the company. They will pass time by drawing manga. And they are others who moonlights (trading on SGX) at work.

4) WastePAPER basket is meant for papers ONLY. No rubbish allowed. The GA will actually store those papers for days before trashing them. This is to prevent any incidents of missing documents.

5) FORMALITY depends on occasion. The natives will always wear a jacket at work to show respect. Or they are just there to show their faces. If they wear their jackets at dinner, that means they are treating the meal as part of work. These natives will only take out their jackets when they treat the event as a casual event. But if you're eating with your boss and he's not in his jacket, that doesn't mean he is not noting down everything you said about work.

6) CONFIDENTIALITY is an important word in the company. Any incoming and outgoing emails are audited. They will keep a copy of all these emails in the server, just like every documents in the company have a specific number of years to be retained as archives. Emails with attachments to external parties have to be locked with a password. And Internet access is only allowed to users, who needs it for work purposes. No thumbdrives and external HDD allowed. Any customer related information can't be brought out of office unless approval has been granted.

Beside the above, there are probably a lot more to be discovered by myself...