Harsh Environment

Perhaps my last blog entries may sound scary - 'friend is foe & foe is friend".

Once you acknowledged a group of people into your "circle", you are considered "ONE OF THEM". Be it good or bad. You seem to be labeled just because of the group you are in. Is that BRANDING? Does an opinion of a person be seen as the opinion of another?

Someone once told me that isn't it good to find your own "clique". Perhaps one or two people, or a group of them who share common beliefs and thinking.

Well, I guess it depends on how you think it. To some, they see it as a good thing; to others, they might look it in a bad way. To many people, they simply love to classify things, and people. They like to generalise everything they see, touch, smell, taste and hear. GENERALISATION.

Trouble Times

The market has been so volatile these days. Everything is the same kind of news regarding the market. The fall of Lehman Brothers. The merger & acquisitions going around in the U.S. The bailouts coming from the Central Banks in Europe & U.S. It's a domino effect. When would this be the end?

No matter how much actions going around me, work is still pretty much the same for me. Sometimes I feel that I am getting so used to all the nonsense at work. At times I am really pissed off by the comments and actions of people.

Perhaps I am not an easy-going person to get along afterall. I don't like the feeling of not knowing who are your foe and friend a work. Life is indeed better when you're a student. No politics. You don't have to learn how to grow up at the harsher environment. Now things haven't changed much, but inside me I think I've adapted to accept that the world around me now is like this. A place where your enemy is your closest friend. Make your friends close, but make your enemies closer. That's just the way life is.

Almost 2 months...

It's almost 2 months since I last updated this blog. I guess those friends of mine who used to frequent this blog would have forgotten that this blog still exists.

Many things have happened over the 2 months. My eventful trip to NYC & Toronto. A job interview that offered an opportunity that I had hope for 5 years ago. Perhaps if it's not yours, it's not yours. I must learn to face reality. I must appreciate what my capabilities are and are not.

I certainly wish to get out from where I am now in less than a year's time. I really can't stand Ms. J. She's pissing me off at times. She never listens. And because she doesn't listen, she claims that you didn't tell her beforrehand. She put blames on you intentionally, making you feel bad. Perhaps I don't have her "common sense" but I think she ought to give people some respect. Not only does she not praise you when you do well, she makes sure you remember her scolding. I really don't think I can tolerate her for too long. That's the main reason why I am planning to leave.

Of course, the other reason is I don't know if where I am now is where I belong. i don't feel a sense of belongings here. Perhaps I don't think I have the capabilities required in this role.

Well, time for a chance soon!!! Counting down to Dec first if I survive all these crap!!!

Trip To NYC & Toronto

I really can't wait to head to NYC and Toronto!!!

It's been such crazy weeks. I am rushing to finish up reports to the "internal customers" so as to provide the facilities for my "external customers". I have no idea how I am supposed to finish in time.

Now I really wish August would come soon. I need a break to rest my minds and enjoy myself. My last overseas trip was in late Jan (if you discount the frequent trips to JB in Jun). I think it's time for me to recharge my whole body...

The Unknown Ahead

I have been so shagged these days after work that I rarely come online. I normally go straight to bed after only some TV shows. I also never head out after work these days. Honestly, I have no idea why I am so tired.

Recently, I also been thinking whether I've chosen the right career path. Studying part-time is ok. However, I am certainly not those very academic kind to do research at university. Nor am I super ambitious. I am not a born leader. Yet, at times we have to choose what's best for us and what we are good at. I am once again at a crossroads if I am suitable for my current role. Or should I go into a position that allows me the chance to travel or some jobs that do not require to reach sales quota?

There was an opportunity of job transfer to the research department. I couldn't leave my job as of now. I am not sure if I have made the right decision. I probably won't know till few years from now...

24nd Birthday

Thank you all for the cake, flowers, and gifts! Thank you for meeting me to celebrate my birthday too! I am really thankful that you for remembering my birthday and making my 24nd birthday realise that I am very fortunate to have friends around me. There are a few friends whose sincerity touches my heart. I wish I could remember their birthday as clearly as they could remember me. However, I am really forgetful when it comes to numbers. Sorry! And sorry for the late thank you!

Birthday

A colleague reminded me of my birthday. I don't know that colleague that well, but one of the GTs told her. She's also born in Jun.

Honestly, I am not at all excited about my birthday. No plans for now. No plans for Friday night out.

The GTs are having a gathering on Friday. But I am not keen on joining. Blame it on my anti-socialness. I just want to have a night without memories of work. The only thing I can talk about with my colleagues is now only WORK, and MORE WORK. I can't find myself relating to many of them. I guess I was never the extrovert afterall.

I simply love being around friends. GEMINI. The horoscope that explains all.

Unfortunately, my good girlfriend is working London hours. That means I can't get her to join me. I don't mind going back home to watch my Jap drama. That is if the latest episodes have been uploaded.

P.S. I signed up for classes at Las Lilas, the Spanish school. Time to move away from Japanese!!!