Sighs~

"The clock is ticking..." I suddenly feel the emptiness in me over the last few years.

Indeed it has been some years since I was in a relationship. Perhaps I have become so used to being single that I already forgot how to fall in love again. Or maybe I am just not that "lovable" to the guys.

I hang out with guy friends on one-to-one basis (Would that constitute a "date"?). Let's say we classify them as dates. How come no date turn out fruitful? Don't tell me I scare them off? Or I am too good a buddy to be a gf? I really wonder what are the guys' opinion of me.

As the phrase goes "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", I would love to know what is the impression I gave to the guys.

P.S. I'm still a woman who yearns to be loved, and to have the capability to love someone.

All "Right"

Which of the following situation do you think is the worst to be in?

1. 在对的时间遇到对的人 Meet the right person at the right time
2. 在对的时间遇到错的人Meet the wrong person at the right time
3. 在错的时间遇到对的人Meet the right person at the wrong time
4. 在错的时间遇到错的人Meet the wrong person at the wrong time

My answer: Case 3 is the worst. I think it's the saddest case, because the right person may leave by the time it's the right time.

My next best answer: Case 2. Because you can still choose to reject the person. It's not as bad as Case 3.

These were part of a discussion I had with a friend @ Tanjong Rhu. A deep understanding of love from the friend who made nice Latte with Baileys and Whiskey for me at his place.

P.S. I hope this is not a divulgence of any secret of my friend.

Slumdog Millionaire

The movie was not bad with interesting flashbacks. Nice scenes of India (though I think it's still last on my priority list at the moment). A good attempt at an "India film" by an American director (he's American?! never really care about getting my facts right). The last part of dancing is quite cute..."at least it's not in the middle". If not, it would have been too deliberate. I love the last part where Salim dies in a pool of money (I know it's sad that he has to die to let Latika go), while his brother Jamal wins Rs. 20 mil in the gameshow - "Who wants to be a millonaire?".

Los Amantes del Circulo Polar

I'm really glad that I went for the movie at Arts House. Despite going alone and without a ticket, I managed to get last minute ticket to watch the movie in the end.

The movie is about Ana and Otto (both names are palindromes). They met at the gate outside the school when they were eight. They began a complicated, but secret and passionate relationship. Is all about cycles and the coincidences in life. Es un ciclo y son casualidades en la vida. They broke up somehow, and found themselves both in Finland, where the Polar Circle is. Yet, just as nothing last in the world (mentioned in the beginning of the movie), love between Ana and Otto didn't last forever. Ana was killed in a fatal accident in the end. A very sad ending.

P.S. Nothing is forever. Treasure what you have now.

Monday Blues

I am certainly not looking forward to tomorrow. Although my boss won't be back on Monday, I hate to go back and see that flowers on my desk. I really need to find a way to throw them away. The sender of the flowers doesn't seem to understand the meaning of "bucked off". I believe I have indicated my stand very clearly but he doesn't seem to be giving up too easily. Haiz~ It's getting a little too much for me... I don't think I really like to go back to work on Monday... it's super blue even before it's here.

Tickets To Spanish Film Festival...

I really would rather spend my time at the arts house watching the Spanish Film Festival than staying whole all day doing nothing. I can only blame myself for booking the tickets too late. Now the only choice is to go on the day itself to check out any extra tickets are available. I hate waiting without knowing the end results...

Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot these days. I don't know how to describe that feeling. Nor do I know who can I share with. I could only blog them now. Luckily, I found one distraction that keeps me thinking. That only reason that motivates me every day is: "Boys Before Flower" (Korean version of "Meteor Garden").

I was looking forward to my first step of moving on. However, when I fail that first barrier, I wasn't extremely upset. I knew if a score of 10, I would have only obtain 3. I failed badly.

Instead, I think at least I took the first step that kept me thinking why I am still in this s***. I have been lucky all these while meeting the "right" people who gave me many opportunities. It took me 5 years to realise I should give it a try in another arena. Then I realised I might not be suitable. I am like a fish who should swim back to the water, where I am more comfortable in. Even though I may not have the ability to return to where I was but I know deep down in my heart I really want to go back to where my passion lies.

Is it too late?

I have absolutely no idea. I won't know the future, I can't care about the past. I only have the present with me.

I remember there was a friend, the one who I was fated to meet twice and who seems to know me better. She said: "You are certainly those who like to keep most things to yourself." That's true. I don't know how to share those innermost feelings with others. Then again I realised maybe I was never as good as interacting with others as it seems.

I also want to find someone who can share my joy and sadness.

However, it's always the wrong guy who approached. The right guy rather leave me alone.

P.S. Life....filled with all sort of thoughts that don't make sense to correlate yet when you want to vent those frustrations you just simply throw out whatever you have in mind...