Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot these days. I don't know how to describe that feeling. Nor do I know who can I share with. I could only blog them now. Luckily, I found one distraction that keeps me thinking. That only reason that motivates me every day is: "Boys Before Flower" (Korean version of "Meteor Garden").

I was looking forward to my first step of moving on. However, when I fail that first barrier, I wasn't extremely upset. I knew if a score of 10, I would have only obtain 3. I failed badly.

Instead, I think at least I took the first step that kept me thinking why I am still in this s***. I have been lucky all these while meeting the "right" people who gave me many opportunities. It took me 5 years to realise I should give it a try in another arena. Then I realised I might not be suitable. I am like a fish who should swim back to the water, where I am more comfortable in. Even though I may not have the ability to return to where I was but I know deep down in my heart I really want to go back to where my passion lies.

Is it too late?

I have absolutely no idea. I won't know the future, I can't care about the past. I only have the present with me.

I remember there was a friend, the one who I was fated to meet twice and who seems to know me better. She said: "You are certainly those who like to keep most things to yourself." That's true. I don't know how to share those innermost feelings with others. Then again I realised maybe I was never as good as interacting with others as it seems.

I also want to find someone who can share my joy and sadness.

However, it's always the wrong guy who approached. The right guy rather leave me alone.

P.S. Life....filled with all sort of thoughts that don't make sense to correlate yet when you want to vent those frustrations you just simply throw out whatever you have in mind...