Reflections 2007 & Resolutions 2008

As the year comes to an end, I looked back at what I've achieved. I realised 2007 has indeed been an eventful one for me.

Major events in 2007:

1. I finally graduated (to the relief of my parents), but I still miss school. I had an amazing university years achieving many things in life that many of my peers could not have achieved.

2. I paid off my liabilities and was left with a tight budget. At least I don't have to worry the high interest rate charged at 4.25% per annum anymore.

3. I brought my mum to Tokyo and managed to survive with my poor Japanese.

4. I attained the Spanish Diploma Basic Level, which I have no idea what use I would have as of now.

5. I was at the crossroads deciding the career path I should pursue.

6. I finally landed myself my current job and felt really blessed to be offer a placing in an industry related to my studies.

In the coming year, I hope it will be a year of achievements.

Resolutions 2008

1. I hope to get into the department I am in now. I believe the field of work is specialised enough to keep me motivated on my learning curve.

2. I hope to get my braces done. It's been more than 10 years since I last checked out the prices for braces. It would certainly be an achievement to fulfil the dream I used to possess.

3. I hope to workout on a more regular basis. I have just signed up a year of membership with Fitness First, which has a branch located in the building of my office. I will be joining my colleague(s) who are already members of the club.

4. I hope to make true friends at work and in my social life. It's always good to have a couple of true friends, especially those who will be there when you need them.

5. I hope to meet up with friends in Bangkok in January when I am there. My Argentinian friend (a great 'Spanish teacher' of mine) will be flying in to Asia for holiday. I will try to meet up with him. In addition, I am planning to meet up with my Thai friends, whom I have not met for years (since those days we worked together in U.S.).

6. I hope to go Germany and visit my cousin and friend there. The plan is yet to be drawn up. I will try to arrange leave to visit Europe, a continent I have yet to venture into.

幸运儿 “The Lucky One"

昨天心血来潮就踏进了书局，随手就拿了一本几米的《幸运儿》来读。其实好久好久都没再翻阅书本，更别说是华文书籍了。从新拿起书本的感觉让我回到读书时期... ...

几米的书带着绚丽多彩的图、简单的文字，却总是带着一点黑色幽默。《幸运儿》也不例外。故事反映了很多人生中的矛盾... ...

我们总是羡慕那些拥有很多很多的人，但是这些人是快乐的吗？或则也许我们拥有很多，但当我们真正拥有时，我们却不懂得珍惜, 直到失去了，我们才懂得后悔。

当一个人像小鸟被捆在笼子里，没有亲人、没有朋友，人生是孤寂的。或许有一天没有人会记得你是谁，也没有人会想起你。但是没有人是一个孤岛。大家都须要爱他的人。被爱是幸福的。懂得去爱更是难得的。特别是懂得博爱，默默地帮助身边的人也是种幸福。

The Warlords

I just reached home after watching 'The Warlords' with an university friend...

I must say that the movie is certainly another breakthrough for Peter Chan. The Hong Kong director has filmed different genres of movies such as 'Perhaps, Love", but this is the first time he did a war film based on a historical event. Watching this movie was considered quite amazing for me because I saw the director in person when he was here in Singapore few months ago.

'The Warlords' , a movie that revolves around brotherhood with many hidden meanings. The scene of a wretched war field not only reflects the complicated relations among the various characters, but it also brings out the significance of peace. The innocents did not choose to go into war. Nor did the soldiers choose to fight the war. They were told to be fighting for the greater good of their own people. The irony of a cross (which symbolises protection) but always associated with death. The "Shan" (mountain) that cannot contain "Er Hu" (second tiger). [It's a chinese phrase, which my friend reminded me about.] And many more meanings that reflect reality...

The movie is also great because of the visual effects, especially the bloody war scenes. Perhaps not all girls would like it. However, if you like Saving Private Ryan, you would simply like this show too. Peter Chan has really done a good directing job in depicting the cruelty of war with the killing, the blood etc. Interestingly, the horses' eyes were covered up in one of the scenes. This is something I don't remember seeing in many films. From my understanding of horses, the idea is to prevent the horses from being distracted. I guess it's even crucial especially in warfare because the horses will often get jittery when they see the swords coming their way.

Although the storyline varies from the original in a way, the plot of the story is laid out very nicely from the start, giving a clear picture of the characteristics of the three brothers and the inter-relationships of these characters. The story is a little sad though. The 4,000 innocent soldiers that were killed despite the fact that they have chosen to surrender. The eventual death of the three brothers.

Overall, I really like the movie a lot. It really makes you reflect that life is like a war scene in a way. There is always so much complexity in relationships at work or in our social life. How much is the friendship we established worth?

Friday @ Work

I feel that the week has gone by like a speed of light. It's already Friday again!

I am kept busy with research assignment beside the self-studying I have to do. My other mentor gave me a briefing session on financial modelling, which is something that I find intriguing to learn. Although I am not doing any real work at the moment, I feel a stronger urge to stay in the division to pursue the interests. The department is really specialised in its field. I believe there is a lot of learning opportunities for me, but the work involved would definitely be a steep learning curve for me.

In fact, as late Jan approaches, I feel increasingly anxious to know which department would open up vacancies to accomodate us. (The graduate trainee program will end in late Jan when we will be given a final posting based on demand and supply.) I hope my chance to stay in where I am now would be higher than the rest.

I think I grew closer to other colleagues (rather than my fellow trainees friends) recently.

One of them is Ms. S, my senior working in another department but I only discovered that she was from my university few months ago. I find her very approachable to chat with. Hence, we have started a chat on a daily basis over emails these days. We are even planning to head to Fitness First together starting next week.

The other colleague whom I always chat with over email was Mr. L. He has joined the company few months earlier than us, but he has the chance to join us for some of our training sessions. However, I remembered we only grew closer because of a bottle of Chardonnay. We met up over dinner together today and chatted about the 'crack' that he has observed in our group (the trainees). I cannot not agree with what he has said. I think it is quite obvious that all of the trainees have grown further apart from one another due to different reasons. Quoting what this colleague told me, at the end of the day, we are competitors to one another. That's so true! Yet it is saddening to see how everyone drifted apart from one another. Perhaps that's how true why 'colleagues can only be colleagues'. He really woken me up with his words. At the same time, I think I found myself a friend at work, whom I think I can trust.

Of course, trust will only come when the other party also trust in you. I shall see how these newfound friendships will be able to sustain the cruelty at workplace - the politics.

The Ups & Downs Of Life

I've been getting a little emotional these days. I could be happy one second and sad the next moment.

At least I know today I woke up feeling better, probably due to some quality sleep the previous night. I also woke up on time and went out early. The train was super not crowded. I had a lot of "fresh air" for once on the train heading directly to Pasir Ris.

I knew I wasn't going to bump into him on the train. I purposely took the earlier train. He has no reasons to give me any mean comments again. I reaffirmed that I was going to reach earlier than him, as I even saw him at the usual spot through the glass panel of the doors when the train went passed his station. However, I felt a little shocked when he actually called me up. I decided to be nice. I waited for him at the final stop. Perhaps I still treat him as a really good friend no matter what happened between us previously. I knew I still care for him as a friend, and I hope he can stop being mean to me. Let's see if fate will bring us together on the same train tomorrow.

I also found a new motivation at work. My mentor handed me an assignment to do, which will keep me occupied. Researching for this assignment is certainly better than just doing self-studying. I could feel the fighting spirit in me even though the task is not an easy one to begin with. My other mentor has also given me a briefing on financial modelling today. He will try to finish up the briefing tomorrow. The topic is an interesting one. At the same time, it is also a complicated subject. I really hope to master as much as I could. These two things should keep me rather busy for the next two weeks.

Christmas

Merry Christmas to you!

My mood has certainly recovered a little. I went out shopping with my mum last Saturday to AMK Hub. Although I didn't get anything for myself, we bought a lot of food home. We also met up my brother, who got off work to eat at New York New York.

On Sunday, I met up with my JC friends at Sentosa. I am no longer crazy over getting tanned. In contrast, I am trying to avoid sun these days. However, for the sake of the company, I went down to Sentosa. I do enjoy watching them play beach volleyball, while I just chat and rest.

I stayed for a few hours only though because I made an appointment to meet a good friend for Golden Compass, a movie I always wanted to watch this December. I think if you don't hold too much expectation on this movie, you will enjoy the show better. Luckily, we watched the movie at The Cathay. It was not too crowded for my liking. After the movie, my friend accompanied me to buy some cards for my colleagues at PS. We then headed to City Hall for some drinks at Starbucks (the new one at Raffles City, which we managed to find seats).

Then I went to the northeast of Singapore (Kovan and Hougang area) to meet up my JC mates (including those who went Sentosa and those who didn't) at Hougang Mall for dinner. It's been a long time since I met most of them, so it was enjoyable catching up on one another's latest updates in life.

I must say the whole weekend was certainly fulfiling. I truly enjoy myself.

There was a festive mood at work on Monday. A few of the graduate trainees, including me were like Santa Claus, giving out cards and gifts. Although someone irritated me in the morning, I made a discovery after lunch. I had a short briefing session with one of my colleagues, which lasted only 15 min. We ended up chatting about Latin America and Spanish for another fifteen minutes. He is a Japanese expatriate, who studied in an university in Spain. That's so cool! He only took Spanish for a half a year, but when he speaks in the language, he certainly sounds fantastic. He was jokingly saying that his Spanish is probably better than his English. It just got me excited that I found someone who can speak fluent Spanish at work because it's SPANISH! Ok, I admit I am a little obsessed over the language. I really want to return to learn Spanish soon.

Which Sex & the City Character Are You?

Which Sex and the City Character Are You?
	You are Carrie. You know what you want out of a relationship and you're not afraid to keep moving until you get it. Wit and charm are your biggest turn-ons, and you like guys who appreciate you for your mind as much as your body. You have fun playing the dating game, but secretly you just can't wait to find the guy who sweeps you off your feet and carries you into the sunset.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Latest Updates On My Life...

I had a one-to-one session with one of the HR personnels last Tuesday. She provided me a breakdown of the scores based on our assignments, short job rotations and 5-week internship during the graduate trainee programme. I was not in the top 50% cohort of the batch of trainees. In fact, that was within my expectations. I know I am not the aggressive type among the twelve of us. Nor am I one of the smartest around. However, what shocked me was when the HR personnel asked me 'Who are you close to among the trainees?" The question really caught me. I didn't know how to reply her. I would probably have an answer for her if she has asked me few months ago. However, now I am not too sure who is my closest friend at workplace.

After the feedback session, I felt really down. Many things went into my head. I couldn't tell specifically what was the reasons behind that. Perhaps it was the low scores I had. Or maybe it was more of that question posed by the HR personnel.

I'm glad my mood recovered a little after watching National Treasure Part 2 yesterday. I really appreciate the friend who is willing to accompany me to watch the movie. Or else I might have to spend Hari Raya Haji doing my usual activities - sleep, watch tv, surf net and eat.

Although at the end of the day I still have no answers to the question, I believe I will find someone who is willing to reciprocate his/her feelings and treat me as a friend so long I remained true and sincere to people around me. I am not attempting to open up anyone who is unwilling to open his/her heart to me. I am not a superwoman. I am just trying to be myself.

Friendship

Can colleagues only be colleagues/acquaintances and not friends? I thought the answer was NO.

Recently, I realised what you considered as friends might not be your friends afterall. Or worst, they never regarded you as their friends in the first place. That changed my opinion of friendships.

The words that were told to me may be mild as compared to betrayal. Yet, it still hurts to know that I have never had that friend in the first place.

I have invested so much into the friendship, willing to afford the time and energy with this friend. At that point in time, I thought he/she is also reciprocating by being nice to me. However, I realised at the end of the day, I was never regarded as a friend. Just a colleague or maybe only acquaintances.

I have no wish to guess what's on his/her mind, and why the sudden change in attitude towards me etc. Should I give up this so-called friendship? And treat him/her as a colleague?

P.S. Losing a friend is worst than losing love.