I had a one-to-one session with one of the HR personnels last Tuesday. She provided me a breakdown of the scores based on our assignments, short job rotations and 5-week internship during the graduate trainee programme. I was not in the top 50% cohort of the batch of trainees. In fact, that was within my expectations. I know I am not the aggressive type among the twelve of us. Nor am I one of the smartest around. However, what shocked me was when the HR personnel asked me 'Who are you close to among the trainees?" The question really caught me. I didn't know how to reply her. I would probably have an answer for her if she has asked me few months ago. However, now I am not too sure who is my closest friend at workplace.
After the feedback session, I felt really down. Many things went into my head. I couldn't tell specifically what was the reasons behind that. Perhaps it was the low scores I had. Or maybe it was more of that question posed by the HR personnel.
I'm glad my mood recovered a little after watching National Treasure Part 2 yesterday. I really appreciate the friend who is willing to accompany me to watch the movie. Or else I might have to spend Hari Raya Haji doing my usual activities - sleep, watch tv, surf net and eat.
Although at the end of the day I still have no answers to the question, I believe I will find someone who is willing to reciprocate his/her feelings and treat me as a friend so long I remained true and sincere to people around me. I am not attempting to open up anyone who is unwilling to open his/her heart to me. I am not a superwoman. I am just trying to be myself.
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